The gloomy days are back. I find myself coming back into these haunted walls, again. I can hear the desperate cries of the prayful souls, repenting and fervently praying to get freed from the clutches of Death. Not for themselves, but for their beloved ones. Hospitals sure have a gloomy feel to their aura.
Sometimes I wonder if the blaring sirens are just fit to muffle the wailing on the inside. Sometimes I wonder if we are supposed to make way for Ambulances just so Death can have it's toll quicker. Sometimes I wonder if we are supposed to be quiet just so Life can somehow do it's magic. Sometimes I wonder if the bedsheets are pristine white and the walls are so bright, to compensate the dull atmosphere of the room.
The Mother of my Mother, you have always been a Mother to me as well. Maybe that's why we call you Grandmother, being grand in every way as possible, as you did. As I look at you, bedridden and sullen, with nothing but just bones and skin, I relive the days I spent with you.
I am 2. You hold my hand gently and guide me as I make my first steps. You feed me with every eatable found. Here you are now, being fed and not even able to stand on your own.
I am now 10. I fell as I ran and your gentle hands again find me, caressing my wounds gently. When my mind wouldn't rest, you would swindle up stories from your imagination and leave me wondering. Here you are, not able to even twitch and you cry with the slightest hurt. You are sleepless with the raging pain inside.
I am now 16. Somewhere along the line, the stories stopped and I became arrogant and irritated by your constant pampering. I failed to realise the Love I received and started searching one for my own. Yet, you never failed to care for me even in the darkest nights and the dullest sights.
Life is a full circle now. You are again a baby, with a need for constant support and help. Old age is second childhood indeed. My heart is now heavy with the burden of all the time I think I wasted. I think about how less time we still have and I feel so guilty for not being there for you, when you've always been there for me.