Hi, am Diana. A teen of 20. Before you fantasize me in your dream world, let me pull you back to reality. I'm a girl with little blemishes and bruises all over my body. A girl with no curves. A girl with an abnormal protruding belly. A girl with flat butts and boobs. You don't need to stalk me to make fun of my ugliness as I am already seen by all. I already was. May be on the winter night I made out with him for the first time. Life seemed different then. Although everything was same but it didn't feel that way. May be because he was there with me. I felt safe and happy. But all these are just for some moment right? Nothing sustains forever. It took me one whole year to understand that. It is very easy to attract a soul so insecure and devoid of love like me. And it was easy for him to lust me and averse me at the same time. I do not know the actual cause behind this stupid attempt he initiated. He proved right, ugly bodies don't deserve love. But the ones to be mocked at.
The world might have seen me in the most vulgar way but am not ashamed.
And no, am not guilty for they haven't seen and known me naked although few leaked out clips claims it to be.
They didn't see the fresh bruises covered under the colourful chemicals. They didn't see my daily scars of insecurities, vulnerabilities, self-harm, irritation, frustration leaving a mark of disgust upon my own existence. They didn't see the involuntary conflicts in my mind which questions my true worth. They never realised how it feels to be judged and insulted every time. When I mean they, I mean the cold blooded society and you play a significant part in it. I thank you and this society for making me by breaking every bits of mine. But they don't have the privilege to scorn at me for being naked for they haven't known me uncovered.
You didn't see the efforts I put on to make you feel the best, rather you felt satisfied smuggling out my love for you to the howling wolves hovering in the dusk hours. You didn't see the struggles I went through in life every day as I laid down my morals and tried my best not to bother you with my troubles. And today, you boast yourself for leaking a body eaten up by worms. Your subtle change still gives my nerve little tremors. My kindness blames you less now but it still hurts.
Neither did you see me suffer through my worst days nor watched me drowning. You didn't see the raw pain I bear behind a fake smile. You didn't see me fighting with the scars of my life every morning. You didn't see my eyes bleed. You didn't see my scribbled walls. You didn't feel the mess within me. And no, you didn't see me getting disguised as a clown.You have tasted the sweet blood with bitterness unexposed. You have seen only the part I chose to get revealed. I have never expressed myself unadorned with raw emotions to you. I didn't remember you endeavouring to uncover the veil. I have never seen you trying to dig through my shades of darkness to find the little secrets lying unexplored. Hence, you don't deserve to say that you have seen me naked when you haven't.
Story