Youssef Boulafrouh
Who would have thought that I would think that way? My name is David. I was raised in the most messed up ways ever, I took advantage of my parents who were always absent in my life, and so to even this they realized what ever I ask for. In my large family I was by the “sissy boy”. I never knew that this will become a major issue and of problems in my life.
In my life I’ve met people, I lost most of them due to my selfishness, but their only one person that I regret loosing. That person was Tamina, my girlfriend, she was an angel, smart, beautiful and most importantly she accepted me ignoring my selfish behaviors, for me that was true love. I met this girl in college, at my first year there as a freshmen, I was quite a famous boy there due to my last name which, which always helped me being noticed. Tamina was a student in my Communication class; she was smart and always answered the professor’s questions correctly. As for me I was one of the least intelligent students in this course, in fact I’ve got the lowest grade twice. I needed help. After several days in this course the first midterm was only a week away, I was still searching for help to study, and the last person I went to for help Tamina, I asked her if she can explain to me what the course is about and help me prepare for the midterm, she replied with a “yes”, my favorite word in this life. We went after class to my house and we studied for two hour, then she stood gave me her phone number so that I can call her if I need more help. Our relation at first was very formal and cold, it feels like I’m being ignored, this drives me crazy. I couldn’t bear this anymore so a night I picked up my phone and called he, she answered the phone in a hurry and said:
Tamina: “ Hey David, please wait one minute I’ll bring the book then we can talk”
“Don’t bother” Said David “ I didn’t call for your help, I called to ask you out?”
“ For what occasion”
“ Well I’ve got a passing grade in my midterm and I would like to celebrate with the person who helped me, you”
“Well, what can I say… ok I’ll meet with you”
After that, Tamina and I started dating. She was the first one ever that I approach, usually girls are the one who approach me and ask me out, but who cares since our relation was so good, and it was working very well. Tamina was with me all the time and gave me support, especially when at the crowd incident, but she was far away from them, and she was vanishing in a slow rate with expressions of sadness and disappointment in her face. What made her vanish and look sad was the outcome of the biggest mistake I’ve ever done. It started the night of our fifth anniversary as a couple so to celebrate I reserved a table at the “blue roses” restaurant which was the place where we had our first meal, we ordered a variety of sea fruits, we ate then we talked for hours, then we went back to my house. Once there we drunk some whine, we danced over some slow music, then we had our usual sex, but a small problem happened this time, the condom had a small hole, but I thought it wouldn’t have done any thing. Months later the reason for the crowd incident appeared, which is me finding out that my girl was pregnant and she knew it all along and she was trying to hide this piece of information from me, that idiot for how long was she trying to hide it, sooner of later it will become obvious. So as soon as I knew that I went back to my place, angry and enraged, I had one of the longest and worst nights ever in my whole life. We argued whether to keep or abort the baby, I was for the abortion proposal but she was not she wanted to keep the baby, she gave some non sense moral arguments and said that we are in this together, but I replied that this was her fault and if she wants to keep the baby I’ll be obliged to dump her. Of course she didn’t not stop talking and giving more arguments, I kept on listening till the point where I realized for the first time ever that I can’t reach what I want, usually when I want something, I get it, I’ve always took control of my life how can a person break this rule, I’ve always lead my life towards what will suit me, this is new for me, it feels like my life is telling me that I can’t always get what I want, I can’t accept this! I went toward Tamina believing that if I can’t make her change her mind by reason she will change it by force, I slapped her in her face as hard as I could. She took my slap and felled down under a very expensive glass table, breaking it into pieces. She was lying on the ground without doing any movements or sound, I called her name twice, she didn’t reply, I started to freak out, so I went toward her and I moved her with my left foot to discover the intensity of my act. Her face and body were covered in blood and fragments of glass pierced her body in her chest, face, and other places of her body. I checked her heart to see if it was beating, it was beating so somehow I felt relieved and scared at the same time. I took her in my car to the nearest hospital, and I started a scene there so that they take her right away to an emergency room. The head of the hospital was friend of my dad so he managed to take her to a room. I waited there for hours, then a doctor came out and told me.
“We did all what we could, but the glass pieces damaged her heart. I’m sorry for you’re your loss!”
I was shocked, I for the first time realized that I would actually care about someone else beside myself, I had cared about her all these past years without realizing that, she dragged me off my selfishness to actually care about someone, and now she is gone, leaving me with the feeling of guilty and awful memories. I went back home, I grabbed a bottle of alcohol and started drinking all the nightlong. The next morning a policeman came to my house to ask me about the death of Tamina. I started lying about every single event, and turned my actions into some kind of accident. I told the policeman that Tamina and I were dancing happy about the coming baby, then she slept on the carpet and fell under the glace table. The policeman gave me a pitiful look then he stood and shook my hand and left, I thought he left forever, but I was wrong.
Eight days after I thought that the case was closed, a detective came to house with two cops and started asking me weird questions, where he referred to abortion, babies, slap, Etc. He knew what I did so I told them this time the very the whole truth. He listened after I finished he asked me to go with him. As the detective was taking me out of my house a crowd was formed by my neighbors who never imagined seeing me in this situation. I believe that I did all what a person can dream of, I drove expensive cars, I owned a big house, I had my own business, I Met love, so my life is pretty much complete, so the jail might be the beginning of a new experience.