The first thrill of receiving sweet texts in between nerve-wrecking Math homeworks and sleepy exam preparations,
the first amusement of courtship during boring school hours and lazy homeroom cleaning,
the first excitement of saying yes in between Lupang Hinirang and Panunumpa sa Watawat ng Pilipinas,
the first tensed holding hands in the quiet and empty library,
the first antsy date during recess in the jam-packed and noisy canteen
the first awkward kiss on an after-Christmas-party afternoon,
the first impulsive exchange of I-love-you's on a late night phone call,
the first gratifying serenade after a silly fight in a classmate-guarded classroom,
and the first anxious I'm-breaking-up-with-you speech in Science garden,
all of them
don't really mean I loved you.
I was just a curious kid
and you were a kind boy
willing to absentmindedly
teach me about dating,
entertaining suitors,
and choosing sappy endearments
that will later on be forgotten
like that used-to-be-unforgettable
sunny day of September.
You were my first boyfriend,
from a crush turned into a lover,
but for me,
it wasn't love at all.
If you thought you were my first love,
then I'm sorry,
you weren't.
If I was your first love,
then I'm sorry,
you were just my first yes.
-ascute montefalco