I'm not sure if what I did was wrong or not, but that doesn't matter. Because I have wronged you. I have broken promises, I've broken your trust, I've broken our relationship, but most of all, I broke your heart.
Back when I was too arrogant to even say sorry, I didn't know what I did to you. And maybe I even thought I was right. But I realize that I hurt you beyond belief. And for that, even if it's too late, I'd like to say sorry. I know a sorry won't change the way you feel, but an apology is necessary nevertheless.
I don't want you to take away from this that you weren't good enough for the person you loved the most. Being good enough for someone you love doesn't depend on how much you love them, but how much they love you. With that being said, I'm not that person, and I can't be. But there will be someone else. Someone better will come along, even though you don't know it.
I can’t find the words to express how sorry I am. I am deeply sorry for pulling the rug from under your feet, for turning you upside down, for taking away the one thing you’ve held on tightly to – my heart. I am so sorry for breaking yours.
I won’t try to justify my actions by saying you had a hand in this too. I thought we could just pick up where we left off. I didn’t anticipate the fact that the pain I’ve caused you has changed you. I forgot that when I let you down I betrayed your trust, and that your walls went back up.
I downplayed it for a while, because recognizing it meant acknowledging my guilt. The truth is, it crushed me too.
So tell me, how do I apologize to you, when ‘sorry’ is not anywhere near enough? How do you want me to respond whenever you tell me that what I did to you hurt like hell? That nothing, or no one, back then could muffle the noise of your breaking heart?
If only I could take my heart out, it would tell you how much I regret hurting you. It would tell you, this time, I’m never letting go. And just like how you gave me time and space to heal on my own, I’ll help you heal too. But you do not have to do it alone. I’ll be with you every step of the way.
I still do not know exactly how I can make it up to you, but one thing’s for sure. If I could take my heart out of its cage, I’d trade it for anything that could make yours whole again.