I have been wondering, why do i always end up alone, why most of my relationships are damaged. I searched into my inner self and looked for answers until i figured out that I'm not alone. Many people suffer the same problem as I do and there any many reasons that might lead someone to being that kind of person. It's a full time job for people who really love us to be able to maintain a relationship with us, due to the constant ups and downs, pushing away and pulling back again.
Below is a list of things that i think might be reasons for this behavior, at least for me.
1- I'm too judgmental and skeptical. I stereotype people who approach me and immediately categorize them. The nerd, the one who wants to get any, the religious guy who just wants to get married, the ugly, the player and the list goes on.
2- I think i'm too good for most people, that's why i look down to most people who try to approach me and immediately push them away thinking they're unworthy of me .
3- I do not want to get out of my comfort zone or take any risks.
4- I concentrate on the negatives in any person who shows interest in me and overlook any good thing.
5- I'm scared to love because deep inside i feel that love means weakness and vulnerability, I've seen it in the people who love me, I've seen how i controlled them and even hurt them at times and i don't want to be in their shoes.
6- I care too much about what other people think, is this is the one i'm going to end up with? What will people say after they've been waiting all that long to see what's going to happen with me ?
7- I'm subconsciously testing how long people will stick around (if ever) by constantly trying to push them away.
8- I abuse people who love me because i know they won't abandon me no matter what. Which turned out to be not true, i managed to push away people who loved me more than anything in the world.
9- I have a fear of any kind of commitment, it makes me feel like i will be trapped.
10- I'm too stuck up to say something good to someone or let them know that they're important to me and also subconsciously i feel that if they realize their importance to me they might start behaving differently and take me for granted. So even if the person gets by, it doesn't last because i'm too cold in a relationship and that ultimately pushes them away.