How can you not understand the no's of my yes' and the don'ts of my okays?
How can you not hear the trembling voices, the fake laugh? Did you not hear the sarcasm behind all those sweet words? Or were your sensitivity just got out of place?
Have you not seen those hidden tears behind my round eyes, the crooked smile, the shaking of my hands, the clenching of my fingers; Haven't you heard the whispers, the shouts, the pumping of my own blood spilling out your name?
Haven't you tasted the sourness of my kiss behind that bright red lipstick? the bitterness of my own soul?
You haven't, I know;
Because when you touched me you couldn't feel the coldness of my skin on this tropical city, as cold as my heart could ever be. You couldn't feel my inside voices creeping out to scream into your face "NO" Because that's all I ever wanted to tell you.
And after all the Yes, I wanted to let you know that - No, I don't like what your doing, I don't want you to, I don't.
But no, I don't want you to get mad, I don't want you to leave me;
and because I know that this two-letter word would be a reason why you'd be gone, or maybe I'm just overthinking.
But still,
I swallow all these voices down through my throat and just tell you 'It's okay'
But I am not, and there's nothing much I can do.