Seated on the bed, coffee in hand, typing something on her laptop...crying her eyes out. What must she be typing?
Oh. She's writing her farewell note for her family, friends, and all her loved ones. After all these years, she decided that she's too tired to fight anymore. She decided to write these letters, to let them know how tired she is, how sad she is, how weak she has become.
She first wrote something for her brother. For the one, she treated her best friend. The one, who comforts her every damn time she's crying. But he wasn't able to comfort her tonight. He shouldn't be. He shouldn't know that she has decided to give up now. She stayed seated on her bed, in front of her laptop, crying on her own. "Brother, thank you for the happiest years of my life" is what she's muttering under her breath.
She then wrote a note for her older sister, her best pal, her best gal. She's thanking for everything she's done for her. Apologizing for being such a bitchy sister. Apologizing for being such a weak-hearted girl. Apologizing because she won't be able to attend her older sister's wedding in the future. Apologizing 'coz she just lost one of her bridesmaids. Most importantly, apologizing for giving up when she thought that everything's gonna be fine. On the note, she's telling her not to shed a tear for her. She couldn't afford to see her sister crying over her cold and lifeless body. She continues to cry silently, not letting other people hear her. "Sis, thank you for the happiest years of my life", she muttered these words again.
She proceeded to write a note for her mother. The best mother she could ever wish for. On the note, she confessed every little secret she has to her mother. All the secrets that only her 3 best friends were aware of. All the secrets she's been keeping 'coz she's afraid to be judged even by her own family. She told everything to her mom. She apologized, one, two, a hundred times, a thousand times until she lost count. Her soft sobs continue. Until she remembered her mother's words and promise to her. "I'm not giving up on you, my children", these were her mother's words. Her sobs turned to much louder cries. "Sorry mom, if I'm the one giving up now", was all she can say as she types her last words on the note.
She's hesitating to write something for her father. She's thinking that he'll just get mad at her just because she decided to give up. Her father is very hopeful and he'll be disappointed if he knew that her daughter ended her own life. She decided to write notes for her friends first.
On her following notes, she continued saying 'sorry' and thanking her friends for standing up for her and for staying beside her. She knew that her friends' support was strong enough to hold her up, but those monsters inside her head were much stronger than their support. Her cries grew louder and louder as she reaches the end of the note. Then she remembered her man--no-not YET her man--but THAT man she's currently in love with. She decided to write a note for him as well.
She has a smile plastered on her face while writing the note for that man. Her cries turned to low sobs. She was smiling the whole time she's writing the note for that man. She's putting so much effort into the note but she knows that it would be impossible for the guy to read this note. He's just too high for her to reach, she thought. Nonetheless, she continued to finish the note for the man still keeping that sad but bright smile on her face.
"Thank you for the happiest years of my life", she continues to mutter these words. Continuously thanking all of her loved ones for making her happy, complete, and content. And the time has come, she saved all the notes into one folder, making sure that her family will see it. She put her coffee tumbler away. She stood up from her bed, took everything she needs. She went out of her room, went to see her family in their rooms. One last look at each family member, with a sad smile on her face. She went back to her room, with one last look at the entirety of her room, her smile grew bigger, and she entered the bathroom. Still, with a smile on her face, everything went black.