Uy, hello. I have a message.
I was thinking that maybe I should've written you prose instead of poetry. I've been so figurative in the poems I sent you. I'm afraid you never fully understood the true meanings beyond my words. So, here's my letter.
I like you. I still do even though I know I shouldn't. For one more time and maybe the last, I will once again write you a letter.
Hello! Like what I've told you during the camp, I never knew you existed. I guess that's one of the factors that made me like you so much. I was honestly thinking my standards were too high. That men I have drawn in my mind will forever stay as imagination, a fiction. But you appeared. And so I started to think that I am not dreaming. You do exist.
I've never liked typical boys. Sure, I do get attracted to some and call them 'crushes' but that's it. I like logical people. I like intellectuals. I like people who are stable and decided in their ways. That's why I like you.
3 days. The camp only happened for 3 days. Yes, I know. But how could these feelings stay within me for months??? From May until September?
1st day of the camp. Of course, I only saw you as a leader. An annoying one. Your members think so too. How could we not? You liked talking with the staffs as well as going to different places alone. Ah, those deductions. What a pity.
2nd day, did you already have a sprained ankle? I was honestly and genuinely concerned. Tough leader!! I guess that's when it all started? Also, During the challenge like birdbox. Before it, do you remember when you sat beside me? No? Okay. I honestly wished I could you cling onto you and tell you to stay. But since you were our leader, you had to go out and listen to the briefing for the game.
During the whole game, I was calm. I knew UDC-- their scams (in games) and weird ideas. And they told us it was safe beforehand, why would I be afraid? I actually found those silly acts funny. Hehe.
But when I was about to jump, I asked you what my name is. Do you still remember that? I just simply wanted to hear you utter my name. It's calming. It's sweet. My ears fluttered. Not heart. Ears.
Oh, before that, you showed us some vape tricks! It was my first time to see something like that live and in person. I don't like vapers, but you're an exemption.
3rd day, I wished the camp lasted for 4 days or 5. I was lucky to have a picture with you but I was sad when I didn't get to bid you goodbye. I looked for you. But you already went home.
I liked every morning I saw you. We and Sam always find you still sleeping, you lying on your chest. We also thought your tent was amusing. So huge but you never asked anyone to share it with you. Why? HAHA. I thought I would be turned off to see guys fresh from waking up. But I never did towards you. You're cute.
Kuya, do you still remember parts of our conversation in messenger? Do you still remember the words perhaps you simply chatted out of whim? Should I hold onto those things or just forget it? Like when you said let's watch a movie next time or that you're going to give me a puppy when Champi gave birth (is it Tenten??) or when you said we'll hang out when I turned 18 or that I shouldn't get shy to message you? Were those words are like the wind? Should I let it pass?
Kuya, always take care of yourself, okay? I honestly include you in my prayers, every day. I wish you more money HAHA, happiness, and genuine people to surround you.
Sorry for what happened between our moms. Idk if you know the whole story or if you find it a big deal or not but I'm out of it.
Kuya, I am actually curious about how your days go by. I wished I could ask you about your whereabouts. But I'm afraid I'd be too nosy and be a nuisance or a disturbance to you.
Please don't treat me as someone 'obsessed' or 'weird' once you read this. I am not. Forgive me for being too honest and vocal. I am an expressionist. It just becomes a habit of mine to tell people that they mattered to me. I like showing people that I appreciate them.
If you ever find this message strange, forgive me. But guaranteed that this letter is written with utmost sincerity.
Kuya, ingat ka palagii!