Launchorasince 2014
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Unwanted Birthday #Dec16


"Tomorrow is my birthday"

Ah, the day before is always fun

I have privilege to ask for anything

Take the day for granted


I don't wanna hold a party

Parties don't make me happy

It's futile to have one

But mom wanted to


Mom wanted to cook foods

"It would make her happy"

That's what she thought

And so I held a birthday party


I invited friends to eat the foods

Sing on rented videoke of dad

Those will make my parents glad

Parents-daughter love it is


My friends only stayed for an hour or two

They could stay late for others

But they can't when it comes to me

I was extremely disappointed


I almost cried on that moment

Due to bitterness and sadness

Thankfully, three stayed

We drank alcohol and chatted


I wanted to talk and laugh

Not fckin' listen and laugh

It's my party, why would I listen

Just listen on other's stories


Never would have I ever thought

I'd try feigning happiness

Of all days, on my birthday

On my fckin' BIRTHDAY!!


I shouldn't have held a party

I shouldn't have invited friends

Should've just watched anime all day

Or ask for new pair of eyeglasses


Money, foods, efforts all wasted

It did not make me happy

It made me realize my worth

I worth nothing, insignificant


With all these, I waited for Kuya D

Waited til' 12am hoping he'd greet me

Kuya D, my crush for 3 years

He can complete my day, I believed


But he did not. He didn't greet me

Ah, I wanna give up

For the last hour of my birthday

I just cried, hard


My heart's clenched with tight grip

I cried til' I couldn't breathe anymore

I sobbed silently, afraid of making sounds

Drowned my pillow with tears


I cried myself to sleep

My birthday was painful

Emotions played with me well

My special day is now gone


I never liked the day after it

The day after my birthday

The excitement of waiting was gone

I felt ordinary once again


It was supposed to be happy

Supposed to be filled with laughter

With me, the celebrant, enjoying it

But I didn't, I didn't have fun