My hair comes untied and I spread my legs.
It feels wonderful to stretch. You should try it sometimes.
I lay down on the floor and claim my space.
I mark no territory because I do not need to. I carry volume.
The ceiling fascinates me. I want to simply be, breathe and stare.
A half-read newspaper shuffles quietly in the background.
Music fills the room. There is music, always.
An empty bottle of an aerated drink and a soiled plate lie right next to my feet. Late lunch, you see.
The laptop screen is my mirror.
I catch a glimpse of myself in it and smile, as the favorite character of the movie I am watching moves on to count his last breaths.
I look pretty.
Death, I laugh and shrug. We are all headed that one way, I think, and wait in line to say goodbye.
It is a bright, sunny day outside and my heart hasn’t felt lighter in days than it does right now.
Nobody is home so it is no pants day. That excites and relieves me.
I pick up my phone one second and push it away the next, indecisiveness at its peak.
Light streaming in from in between the curtains falls on the table next to me. And the dust, settled, sparkles.
There are pillows all around. I love them. I just need so many. One is never enough.
The fan keeps the temperature in check. I think summer is my favourite season.
I contemplate making tea for myself. Add honey, add lemon.
The sweet and the sour, in right proportions does wonders for tea. As for life.
I know I should take a bath. Some quiet time under the shower always makes me feel better, especially if I have been crying.
I look around. There is nobody here but me.
And I realize, in that moment, that I am so much. That I am enough.
I occupy a house, all by myself, and people still call it empty.
Maybe they take offence because I failed to invest in furniture.
That table, yes, that’s all I have got.
Or maybe, just maybe, they take offence because I chose to invest in myself.
I chose to build character over reputation.
I chose to create new definitions not become one.
I chose to accept myself, love myself and forgive myself.
I chose to embrace, the unruly hair, the bold curves, and the broken teeth.
I chose myself.
Maybe that is what it is.
Is that why you take offence?
Because I carry volume?