We are not

I gaze upon the darkness in my heart
I cringed with every ugly and distorted part it has
I smiled with demons lurking inside but in reality, too afraid to not give any tinge of happiness in my face
I wanted to ran away from this
But my eyes keep averting the light, it stayed gazing at the darkness, recoiling like snakes even when everything is black
I am not supposed to look at this but I stayed
I stayed just in case I wholly accept that I can never be anything great like the authors I admire
I stayed just in case I will wake up in the illusion that I can be more than myself because I write

I am not supposed to say these but sometimes, great heights are not all meant for us, and greatness, no matter how the world and everything else say it is possible, is not really the right cup to drink with, anyway.

I do not mean to discourage but that is the truth.

My heart is tinge with red all of over and the dark engulfing it when it wants to.

We are not always made for greatness.