The upcoming referendum on same-sex marriage in Ireland has got everybody talking. This is including people who wouldn't ordinarily engage in discussions of a political nature. If the Yes campaign succeeds, we will add a declaration to the constitution that says marriage may be lawfully contracted by two persons without distinction as to their sex. This amendment would give equal rights to every Irish citizen who wishes to get married. With just a few days to go before we can cast our votes, I am still being taken by surprise when I learn of the ever-changing poll figures. In one poll, the Ipsos figures show 58% are voting ‘yes’ and 25% ‘no’. Then we have those who are undecided and those who say they won’t vote at 17%. It’s not the 'no' vote figures that surprise me. It’s the indecision that I want to address. As Edmund Burke said ‘The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.’ With this concept in mind, I’ll explain the two main reasons why I think it is important to have a viewpoint on this referendum. Firstly, discrimination against homosexuality is a global issue. The fact that we are addressing it in Ireland is showing that we are progressive. However, other nations of people don’t have the same opportunities to voice their opinions. Secondly, we need to able be to express our views and respect one another for them, especially when we disagree.
With a strong Yes campaign sweeping the country, it would appear that acceptance and tolerance has transcended the law of the land. However, there are still those who aren't so keen on such a change. The trouble is that this is the case on an international scale. Take the situation in Russia for example. President Vladimir Putin recently passed laws that exclude homosexual couples from having the same rights as heterosexual couples in a marriage. However, Putin says that this is not an anti-gay law; rather it is a ‘propaganda’ law that is designed to protect children from homosexual and pedophilia propaganda. This is a common idea among those who are against same-sex marriage. It’s the idea that children are at some sort of risk if they are raised by homosexual couples. It always seems to be their main argument. ‘What about the children?’ they say. This sentiment is at the forefront of the No campaign in Ireland. The assumption that two men or two women couldn't raise a child as well as a man and women makes no sense. If you object to this, there’s no reason why you shouldn't also be objecting to all girls or all boys schools. We have plenty of them in this country, but that arrangement has never been called into question. If you think that a man and a woman should raise a child, then surely you think that a child should grow up with both male and female friends in their formative school years.
Regardless of the gender of a child’s parents, that child needs to be nurtured and loved. One of the most important things you can teach a child is to earn respect and to be respectful. Unfortunately, a lack of respect has come from both camps involved in Ireland’s upcoming referendum. You may argue that the No vote demonstrates a lack of empathy and respect in regard to equal rights for our fellow human beings. On the other hand, I think it’s only fair to point out that spray painting over the No posters and tearing them down only serves to undermine democracy. It’s not doing the Yes vote any justice. If we want to talk about the needs of a child in this debate, we should be mindful of these actions. The decisions that we make now will result in the future of the children of today. Having said this, it is important to make the distinction the upcoming referendum is about marriage equality. It is the Children and Family Relationships Bill that covers equal protection among different family types before the law. This Bill has already passed the Seanad. This Bill deals with custody, guardianship and donor-assisted human reproduction. The referendum proposes to amend existing legislation relating to civil partnership, adoption, passports and succession. This means that there will be additional factors that a court can take into account in defining a child’s best interest. After all, gender is irrelevant when we are dealing with the physical and emotional well-being of a child.
Whether you are voting yes or no, we can all agree that a child’s basic needs have to be nurtured with commitment and love. Let’s take two scenarios; A. A six year old boy is growing up in a household that is wracked with neglected and abuse. Both his parents are married, a mother and a father. They don’t teach him the value of education or work. He is learning that the world is against him and he has to fight his way through it at any cost. Violence breeds violence, and the cycle will continue. B. A six year old boy is growing up in a household that is wracked with neglect and abuse. Both parents are married, a mother and a mother. They teach him the same thing, and he learns the same thing. Which scenario is worse? I’m sure that everyone can agree that neither of these scenarios is what a child needs. Does a child need a mother and a father? Yes, but only if they can provide the care and protection that he needs. Does a child need two fathers or two mothers? Yes, but only if they can provide the care and protection that he needs. The Children and Family Relationships Bill deals with these issues. This means that the people who are against same-sex marriage are not against it because they want to protect the children. They think that homosexuality is immoral and unnatural. They won’t necessarily say that though because it makes them sound like bigots, and nobody likes a bigot.
As Mark Twain said 'Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.' With this idea in mind, there are just a few more days before indecision can go one way or the other and make a difference. In accordance with the law, the proposed change to the constitution indicates a new level of acceptance in Ireland. This kind of acceptance is not widespread in other parts of the world and being indifferent about it implies that inequality is fine. We live in an age of social media which allows us access to platforms that previous generations didn't have. I am a woman and I may not have any plans to marry another woman, but this does not mean that I don’t see the potential change in our constitution as significant. I've been lucky in my life. I have never been bullied for my sexual orientation, nor have I ever been ashamed of it or tried to hide it. We should all be considerate of those children who didn't or don't have it as easy. I also don’t have children of my own, but if I did I would want them to know what it is to have a sense of empathy. It doesn't take a mother and a father to teach you that because good influences come in different forms. However, if you do want to preach biblical family values, the sanctity of marriage and unnatural love to children, know that it may not be easy for others to hear you from your moral high horse.