Dear Juliet,
How are you?
I don’t expect an answer to this question as I am writing to a fictional character and according to the rules of fiction, the fictional characters can be more compassionate, loving, and intelligent than the real humans can ever be but they can never have free will. We give life to them and we take it out of them as and when needed according to the demand of the stories. But then why am I actually writing this letter to you? Well, because every time I write, I get to know more about myself. Secondly, the idea of writing letters has always fascinated me. And sometimes, (only sometimes), sharing my thoughts with someone I have never met and am not going to meet in the future either is very comfortable and satisfying. So, here I am, all ready to blabber out some extent of my pent up emotions in this letter.
“Why don’t you fall in love?” – Someone asked.
“I don’t let myself to. Because along with the happy butterflies in the stomach come along the dragons which eat you up.” - I answered.
“When will you let those butterflies fly?”
“When I’ll stop being scared of the dragons.”
Love. Err..What should I possibly write? Is there any string of words to define this term? Or is it only simple and we, complying with our human tendency, make it appear tangled? I don’t know because I have never experienced it. Is it sad? (I don’t think so.) I am 18 years old. In these years, there have been instances where people tell me that they are in love with a person who comes in their coaching class, or with the one who sits behind them during examinations or the one who lives in their neighborhood or the one they meet every day in college. Frankly telling, I don’t believe in any one of them. And if you asked me if I believe in the concept of soul mates, I would, after giving a pause of 60 seconds or so, say a no. During that pause, I attempt to reorganize my thoughts in a more comprehensible way. I don’t believe in soul mates because I believe that we can fall in love more than once in our lives. Every human is capable of being loved. Now this statement demands me to explain my notions for love.
Well, I don’t really know it absolutely yet. But when I see teenagers around me constantly blabbering out these words that they love each other blindly, I don’t feel pleasant. No, I am not inhuman or anything but I feel unpleasant because some of them are together as an escape to their monotonous lives, some take their temporary affection as love while some are too impatient to go through this beautiful adventure of love that they can’t resist the temptation of being loved. Why is it that people from the same school or same college or same office happen to fall in love most often? Are the geographical boundaries taken into consideration while the soul mates are being dropped on Earth? Why people of the same level of living standards happen to get settled together most often? Are the household budgets pre-fixed by Gods up there?
According to the Greek mythology, originally humans had four arms, four legs and head with two faces. Fearing the power of humans, God Zeus split them into two separate halves leaving them to search for their soul mates (who are supposed to love each other) for their entire lives. If it is so, then I can conclude that love is no selfless emotion because it is to complete oneself that one loves another person during his/her life. It means my soul mate and I have been conditioned to love each other. Well, doesn’t sound good enough because I have heard that love is selfless and pure and for no personal benefits.
Juliet, what do you think?
Okay, do you know what do I think? Well, it would be hard to explain because I am still attempting to fathom out the unorganized thoughts that occupy a considerable space in my mind. I think that you can truly love another person only when you are content and happy with yourself. It should not grow out of any needs. Neither because I want someone to succumb to my need to communicate to someone during my lonesome times nor because I need someone to talk to about the fancy thoughts which often make their way through my mind when I sit alone.
I would want to love someone during my happiest times and not to step out of my gloomy days. I would want to love a person when I would feel complete in myself and not to fill some kind of emptiness in my life. I would want to experience love in its purest and truest form.
Love is ethereal. Love is beautiful. Love is overwhelming. Love is intense. Love is an adventurous ride. It's beyond fantasizing.
But I can surely resist the temptation for now as I am in no way ready to accept its unreal form.
Juliet, I have a doubt here. What if I am wrong?
Then what is love actually?
For now, I am hunting down the answers to my questions. I am exploring the uncertainties and the definitions of the inexperienced terms. I am revising my thoughts and my perceptions. I am finding myself. Well, once in a while, we should immerse deep into the world that exists within us. That’s what I am doing right now. And it feels lovely.
Am I not right?