When the Person who Inspires People Lose Inspiration

To search for an answer to solve other people's problem is stitch into my genes. To provide a solution for other people's hardships is my thing. As I help them in finding the solution and answer to their problems, I get drifted from myself.

I lost my own happiness.

Ralph Waldo Emerson says that 'To be great is to be misunderstood', right? I seek happiness in the eyes of those people who depend upon me to solve their dilemma. I see joy through a lasting feeling of forgiving and giving. Sometimes, I get the feeling of being consumed. You may judge me but this is what I really feel.

I offer everything in my system. Most of the time, I didn't know if there's sufficient for myself. Anyway, I'm happy seeing others easy-going after they leave me. I used to it. They leave me when they're done.

Is it a curse not to search for rewards upon giving your help to others?

If this is. Charge me the toughest charge upon this crime because I am much guilty.
If I lose myself will someone offer a hand for me to gather myself again? Will someone do the same thing as I did for others? Will someone help me in putting myself together?

I hope...

As I check the reality, people around me chose to leave permanently. They never realized that I also need someone to stay. They leave something for reminiscing but memories aren't sufficed for me—I need an actual person but they walk away.

I'm not searching for payment. I'm not looking for rewards because there's nothing in this world which can repay the kindness that's undoubtedly given for others.

I'm looking for somebody who will stay during my downfall—during the days that I'm in my bed finding someone to talk to because I lost myself. Someone who would ask me whether I'm fine of not when the world seems to be cheated by my lifeless smiles. I need someone who can search deep inside my soul to see if I'm pretending or not. Someone who will stay during my roughest fights and my weary nights. I need someone who will seek to know me more.

I promise to myself that when I find that someone, I'll require him to stay and give inspiration for me to continue living. As an incentive, I will love him forever with everything which my world can offer.

I can't offer material things but love isn't a chamber, right? It allows you to move freely as long as you know where you're going to go back.

Love, where are you?
I'm waiting. Always take of yourself. The moment we touch each other's life, I promise, you'll never have to take care of yourself always because I'm willing to do it for you. I love you!