I let the hot water soak my skin and tangled hair. Under my eyes it was black with the makeup from my fake self running off.
“Hurry up, you aren’t the only one who needs a shower, bitch.” Michael yelled through the bathroom door. In doing so he managed to disrupt the only privacy I get throughout the day from him. I blocked out his yelling. It was a matter of seconds before I could hear fists against the wooden door.
“You are done!” The door came open, the key in his clenched fist.
“No!” I shouted through the steam which muffled my voice, limiting how far it could carry.
“Oh? No?” Michael shut the door to the shower and turned the water up as hot as it could go. It scorched my skin in the moments before I could turn it off. “Get out.” He grabbed my wet hair and pulled me from the shower and threw me against the sink. I fell onto the cold tile, which actually felt good on my scorched skin. “OUT!” He kicked me in the side and dragged me by my hair out into the hall and slammed the door, which hit me right in the face.
I waited patiently outside the door for him to finish showering. I left my face bare and let my hair dry into a frizzy mess.
“Ready? Now get in the car. We are meeting Sarah and John for lunch at the new steakhouse.
“Yes.” I nodded, I could feel the swelling on my forehead right above my left eyebrow.
“Did you fall? You have a bruise.” He seemed to find his comment to be rather funny. I just ignored him
“Baby, sit here.” Michael pulled the chair out for me, acting like a gentleman in public. I only craved they could see the real him. The side I saw.
“What happened!?” Sarah reached out and placed her fingers on my bruise. I felt Michael elbow me in the stomach as if saying, lie.
“I fell. I hit my face on the counter.” I spoke softly.
“Gosh, be more careful. You seem too fall everyday.” Sarah looked back down at her menu.
“She’s a clumsy beauty.” Michael kissed my cheek and at the same time pinched my inner thigh making me wince.
“Lovely relationship that you two have.” Sarah smiled. John was busy molding the appetizer bread into a ball big enough to fit in his mouth in one swift bite. “John, we need that! What they have!” Sarah nudged John who’s mouth was now full of bread. “John!” She looked at him and handed him a napkin. “Manners?” She snickered.
“Yes, well, I have a lovely girl.” Michael ran his fingers up my inner thigh and playing with a loose thread in the crotch of my jeans. Under the table no one else was aware of what was going on.
“Ah, yes.” Sarah smiled. “John!” She hollered and pointed at the appetizers which were no longer there.
Our food finally came and before I knew it we were leaving tips on the table and gathering our belongings to leave the crowded restaurant.
“Drive safe!” Sarah looked at us. “There is already two inches on the ground out there. You know how our town’s plow trucks are. It takes them forever to get out there.
“Of course, I have precious cargo.” Michael gently lifted me from my chair and placed my jacket over my shoulders so it would shield me from the cold.
“Thank you.” I looked at him, but I could never really smile at him. I found satisfaction, but not love.
“We will see you all soon. Let’s head out, Sarah.” John grabbed his fiancé's hand and walked out the teeming building.
“Yes, have a nice evening.” I smiled and waved goodbye. Michael’s hand made a trail from my shoulders down to my rear. I stepped forward to prevent anymore touching.
I laid in bed that night thinking about my life. My purpose, my boyfriend, my lack of loving parents. It seemed so distant in my mind. I had small reflections of my past, but it was a puddle not a lake I was looking into. My hair was tangled and wet from the snow that had melted.
“Let me brush your hair. You look horrible.” Michael turned on the lamp on his side and grabbed a hair brush from the drawer.
“No, it’s fine.” I rolled on my side, my back towards him.
“No, you look horrible. No girl of mine will ever look like this.” He moved the brush towards me.
“I said no. I want too sleep.” I closed my eyes, and suddenly felt a stinging, aching pain in the back of my head where I had just been pelted with the brush.
“What was that?” He said sternly as he grabbed a fistful of my brown locks.
“No. I want too sleep!” Michael’s fist planted itself in several locations on my body, both eyes, and my lip. I looked so horrible.
I woke up the next morning. Michael never really woke up till mid-afternoon. I would go for walks to clear my head. It was a brisk morning, but a beautiful one. The snow coated everything, making it shimmer in the rising ball of fire. I could hear singing from the old church down the street. They were singing with a tone of rejoice in their voice. I looked in the doors of the church. Inside the children’s choir was singing in front of the rest of the members.
“Here Honey, come sit.” An older woman scooted over in her pew and made room for me. She handed me a bible.
“Please turn too Philippians 4:13.” The priest stood before everyone at the podium.
“Here.” The woman turned me too the page, obviously sensing I had no idea how to navigate through the large book.
“I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. Now, if everyone would like to repeat this with me.” He spoke again and everyone repeated. “Everyone, now let us end with a short prayer.” He bowed his head, and everyone else in the hushed building copied, kids included. “Jesus, I thank you. For giving each and every person the power to live there lives, and it because of you that they have the strength to do so. No matter what the situation they might be stuck in, you are there with a plan for them. Whether it is an addiction, a divorce, a friend fight, a death, an illness, abuse, or all other matters, you are here with us when no one else seems to be. I thank you, Amen.” He rose his head and smiled. Everyone began to maneuver their way from the church. I few ladies and a couple men stood speaking with the priest. I just sat there.
“Ma’am, are you alright. Are you a new member?” The priest could sense the tears that were swelled behind my eyes. “Let’s pray for this young one.” The priest moved his way over to me and the other followed. “Can we pray for you? He placed a hand on my shoulder.
“I guess.” I was confused, but willing. They seemed to have good intentions. Each on placed there hands on me and spoke so quietly I could barely hear, it was close to the prayer said before. I could feel my heart tingle and warm itself.
“Have a good day. It will be okay.” They removed there hands and began cleaning up. I made my way out of the beautiful white doors. I watched several police cruisers go by and then back again on my way home.
I unlocked the door and looked around. Empty. Quiet. Something was strange. “Michael?” I shouted in every room and he was nowhere. I didn’t think he worked until later, but maybe he was called in early. The lights were dim, but I found it peaceful. I plunked myself down on the couch and then grabbed the television remote and turned it on. The first thing that popped up on the screen was an add about the church, and changing your life. I didn’t feel changed. I felt no different. The snow outside was making things reflect in the house. I was startled by the news report that came on.
“Michael Benson of South Street was arrested for illegal drug possession and making and selling illegal drugs. He is sentenced to 50 years in prison. Bail is not available at this time.” I quickly turned the television off, but I didn’t cry. I just starred at my reflection.
“You can do all things through me who strengthens you.” I heard a male’s voice in my head, and as I turned back to my reflection, I saw a man standing behind me. I quickly turned around too find no one there. The sun was shining brightly and gave me peace. I felt loved. I had Jesus. I was going to be okay, because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.