Sometimes it seems as if the whole damn World is against me. It feels like I'm cornered up against a wall, being pummeled to the fullest extent. The wrath being unleashed all over me, struggling to even cover myself up. I feel my bones break and my muscles tear as my heart shatters and my mind loses itself.
I can sense the World conspiring against me, to finish me off and give me my end card. I'm just wandering off into the abyss with no sense of direction, aimlessly. I feel like I've lost my sense of purpose. I feel like there's no one in my team, to support me and to tend to my wounds. I just need a shoulder to cry upon and when I look around, I find none.
I find myself whimpering at 3 in the morning, with the pillow covering my head just so I can suffocate. I take on unprescribed pills just so I can replace the pain I feel on the inside, with something else. Sometimes I consider Death, a saviour. Sometimes I wish everything just stops. The pain, the sound, the hurt, the disappointments. Everything. All at once.
I look into the mirror and feel contempt at what I see. I look at my reflection and I just hate myself. If we could hear our hearts as they break, we can probably never sleep again. I feel drained. I feel hopeless. I feel like I've lost everything I've got. I feel I'm worthless. I laugh hard only to conceal the pain I feel on the inside. I just want to be alone, for when I'm around, I just cause pain and disappointment.
But, there is always this glimmer of hope I feel whenever my friends are around. I feel the distant light as I talk to my parents. I watch this radiant star, shining like a brilliant diamond, when She gives me hope and consoles me.
After all we may go through in Life, the darkness is inevitable. We have to go through our share of rough patches and fight our share of battles, alone. Loneliness can teach a lot in Life, while sometimes it may take it away too. And as it turns out, it is not the World versus Me, but, Me versus Me.