Singing the beats of your favorite song was used to be my best past time. Staring at you for long while you didn't know I was watching was used to be my biggest delight. It gave me light , the way you used to shine in the morning time when sun rays used to kiss your skin line. Yes, I still remember those days when you mattered that much to my mind.
I want to go back there again where time stopped ticking and we used to behave like small kids fighting, smiling and teasing.
Yes, I badly want to go back in that zone when you meant everything to me. I wish I could have a time machine with me to go back in that time. I wish I could stop the time for a while because you always needed it and you said you want more of it and now you don't say anything . You said you wanted to walk alone for sometime to find that I was the mate to your soul. Maybe, I could have a gadget or something to do so, maybe I could have a super power or something with me to do that. Maybe I could have that much guts that I couldn't have let you go so easily. Maybe, I could have console you to stay for a while. Maybe I could have tried to reach you back. But the question is why should I do that? I mean for whom I should have taken that much efforts for?
When you yourself didn't wanted to stay. When you yourself had your own excuses and lied to me. When you didn't even notice that the smile you loved of mine had a hidden and tragic story behind it, when you were not knowing that it was that nerve wrecking pain behind that smile which I used to carry when I used to see you. You didn't realize everyday I was fighting for us. I am still clueless whether you want me to be in your life or you were just 'the someone' in my life. I don't know you as a person still but once I used to love this person and about that I am damn sure. You never spoke up the things that you wanted to say, I kept on asking you those things that were troubling you but you chained your mouth. That made me more crazy about you, I wanted to know you more because I couldn't see that charming smile fading away. Though I don't see you and you don't see me now. We don't talk and meet. We are not on talking terms. Somehow, I have managed to do things alone that I dreamt of doing with you. Somehow I have painted my own world and bought my own canvas like I always wanted to. Somehow, somewhere I feel maybe that's what you always wanted. Somewhere, I feel maybe that is what been planned for me. So maybe if not mine or anyone else, it's yours dream that I am living right now. It makes me happy, doesn't remind me of you all the time and cry like a baby but yes, I am glad that I have survived this phase too because somewhere I thought that after letting you go, I couldn't have come this far but now I think your reason for coming to my life was to make me stronger or I think you made me realize that I am better alone. It's not a joke because I do find peace in my stories and fantasies that I live everyday alone no matter what my eyes are shut or open...