I'm a lover of peace.
But the silence you brought was so sudden. It was like that calm moment. That unusual hushed moment, before the eye of your perfect storm hits my ground.
It was scary as hell. And I myself anticipated it would be disastrous.
I was used to your local thunderstorms. To the lightning flashes that made me hide in my blankets. And to the strong downpour of your rain, making me wet my own pillows every night.
But that certain calmness from your ignorance? It was totally different.
I was so afraid with the pauses in your fragmented speech. They used to show your utmost sincerity. But at that very moment, it wasn't anything like that. There was more into it. I believed so.
They were like small waves, growing bigger every minute passing by. They were getting larger and larger, trying to devour me whole, only to crash me back towards your rocky shore.
I felt the loss of your words. Your quick change and indifference. Your sudden panic to spill the right things to comfort me, but you were actually haunted by your own truth.
So you hugged me instead. Your hug used to give me warmth. But it suudenly felt hollow. Like it was just a reflex, with no emotions attached to it. It felt empty. Exactly the same as the words "IT'S NOTHING" you uttered.
But I knew better. I knew it was a cover up.
It was your lie. Your biggest lie in an attempt, to save my already broken heart. Your hardest lie, in an attempt to save my deeply severed soul.
But I hoped. I still did. That among all your lies, it would be the truest you've ever said.
But it was all hopeless. I felt so helpless, for you were my perfect storm. My most beautiful, yet unforgettable tragedy. And ended up bringing the casualty inside me.