Launchorasince 2014
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You were not him.

I knew I didn't love you. Since day one, I knew I wouldn't love you. But he has broken my heart, and you came in to mend the pieces and so, I went off with you. 

You said I love you too soon, and that put me off, but I pretended I felt the same, just to keep you at peace. 

And yet, I didn't love you. 

Time passed, he was still on my mind, and still I didn't love you. 

I knew I didn't love you because I never even thought about writing about you. 

You never moved me enough, but you deserve to know, and so, the things I've kept in for months, I'll just tell you. 

I knew I didn't love you the first time you held me in your arms, because the only thought that ran through my mind was "you're not him". 

I knew I didn't love you when all I could think of was "you don't smell like him, your skin doesn't feel like his,..." 

I knew I didn't love you every time his name came to my lips when saying the words "I love you". 

I knew I didn't love you when every encounter and every phone call seemed to last an eternity, and when waking up next to you felt like a burden. 

I knew I didn't love you when being with you fueled my depression, and that running away from you and into his arms was the only thing on my mind every time I had a panic attack. 

Just the mere fact I got back to having those while I was with you, means a lot, I'm sorry, but I never loved you. 

I knew I didn't love you when leaving you chased clouds away, and I didn't have to drink that much anymore, I am better now, you see, and he's still there for me too. 

You were never him, and I was wrong in thinking you could ever fill the void he left.