Scintilla

Whelve

Always ten feet below

Grays and blues spreading through my emptiness

I talk but in reality I talk less

Willful ignorance was all I’ve ever truly shown

Alexithymia

Souls full of manipulation and revenge

Faux smile because I know

Slaughtered me with their lies, fired me with reversed praise

I’ve seen through everything, transparent yet still deceiving

They’d think I’d fall, stupidity shows

I won’t because I know

Lies

Resembling a detective

I’ll bare the truth of your alibis

Crack the codes, gather all the riddles

Find every flaw, every blemish, every defect

And in the end?

I’ll snap, firmly retort to you the deceptions of your words

Heatedly expose you to all

A suspect like you shouldn’t perform like a victim

It’s disgusting in every aspect, you showing illusions to conceal

Falling

Flashback from years before

It was forbidden at an early stage

Yet I risked it just for you

A screen that bonded us

A reality that did not

Small talk, longing stares and nervous touch was all we did

But somehow, for the both of us, it was our deep connection

I genuinely wanted it, wanted you, but I felt that I was losing myself

I wanted freedom

I wanted emotions

I wanted you for myself, and for myself only

It was lacking, I loved you but I was not loving myself

4 months after, on the month of romance

You decided to hurt me

Physically, socially and emotionally

Stupid as it sounds, but you did

You fucking did

I started hating you, even the sight of your shadow made me cringe in disgust

Even your sorry made me fuming mad

I believed in revenge and revenge was what I did

We eventually stopped talking

I broke it off when tears streamed down my face for the first time because of you

That was our closure, my tears signaled it to end.

Crashed

I thought it ended

Years have passed and I thought my feelings are completely mended

It took me years to move on, a hard process of ignoring your existence

But as I accidentally gazed in your eyes, seconds longer than I imagined

I once again unconsciously admired your thick eyebrows that fit symmetrically with your pair of dark misty eyes

You changed, became hotter than before, became more powerful

I felt confused

I felt like a treasure chest waiting to be unlocked

Unlocked to see what questions were dying to be asked

Unlocked to pinpoint which emotion felt deepest

How was it possible for you to make me desire you again, with just mere seconds?

And with those mere seconds a million things were left unsaid

I was the first one to look away, I couldn’t take the intensity you gave

It was filled with heartfelt emotions, anguish, and a hint of need

You lingered on my presence for a few moments but then you let out a sigh and left

I want to know what I did to make you sigh

If that mild breathe was an impulse on your thoughts

What were you thinking?

Were you thinking about not having an official break up?

I shook my head. No.

I got back to my senses, I was slapped by reality with an unfortunate question

That was it

It meant nothing

Because not having closure is the closure itself.

Numb

That’s the problem about pain

It pushes you through your limits

And the only way to numb the pain is to be insane

And like a pill, it’ll shut you down from anything ordinary, you won’t give a damn about anything typical

All you would ever care about is madness

Broken

You weren’t perfect

Every shattered piece of yours were tainted with sadness and grief

Maybe that’s why you shut everyone out of your life

You didn’t want anyone to add another wound

And you didn’t want to stitch the wound by yourself again

You didn’t want to suffer from the same process

So you built walls not even me, who loves you, can destruct

Jokes on you

Mad as the hatter they say

Dumbfounded as they try to seek within

Thoughts jumbled up, limitless confusion plastered on faces

‘Read between the lines’ the clue I’ve left but why can’t anyone deduce the mystery behind the facade of my entirety?

Lots worship reality but I’d prefer to live on my own world of fantasies

Sexual

I wore a little black dress

That complimented my curves

With dark beachy waves and classic nude lips

Paired with stilettos and a tiny lace lingerie beneath

As I entered the club

The smell of smoke, alcohol and sex combined filled my nose

I cringed but I did not give a damn

I was claustrophobic but the crowd of people grinding against each other didn’t scare me

I made my way to the bartender and ordered a bottle of Vodka

Scrutinizing his godlike self and staring at awe at his striking gray eyes mixed with a hint of ocean blue

Admiring how his sculpted body moved seductively with his skilled fingers as he mixed alcohols together

I gulped down a shot, licked my lips and decided I wanted more for tonight

Desire

Eager for passion, thirsty for emotions

Release my demons, trace your fingers through my depths

Ignite me, want me, own me

Show me every page, every detail of your body

And I’ll still love every single broken piece of yours

Reign

That piercing yet alluring stare

An aura as dark, mysterious and powerful as yours

Leather and distress, combats and plains

I’d like to uncover your masks, to radiate myself with danger around you

To dive in your ocean of thoughts, to be able to call you mine

Dominating

Chaotic emotions

Blank gaze, unpredictable actions

Trails of fire left as you pass

Authorization and pure sexiness, I shiver with desire

Electrifying my body with magnetizing touch

You thought you’ve done less when you’ve started a disaster

I’ve felt insanity, sanity, wickedness and calmness

You’ve started a hurricane

But I like it anyway

Universe

Your eyes were empty like a moon’s

My eyes were cosmic like the galaxy

And as we met, it felt like constellations

And as we fell in love, we ignited like stars

Pack

Be my Alpha and I’ll be your Luna

In a forest surrounded by fireflies and misty lakes

Barefooted under the glimmer of a rare blue moon

Let your kiss awaken my wolf, as we secretly have lustful rendezvous

Gray

Nothing is magical about falling in love

Your heart pounds for that one person, and like an idiot you’ll lose everything you have

You’ll look at him with loving eyes but will he look at you the same way?

With one smile your walls instantly came crashing down

But with one mistake it’ll take more than time to repair the damage that has been done

Aesthetics

I thought you wanted blue

But you chose red

You took time to admire and use blue on striking canvases

But you ripped off the canvas and replaced the shades with red

And you exhibited red while you unheeded blue.