Immortal Love

I was serene as always, but this silence wasn’t natural. I was gripped in such a fear that even closing my eyes brought scary reminiscences, those which kept haunting me constantly. Dreadful thoughts kept nagging somewhere in my mind. I could hardly see things clearly. Might be, some sort of ill fate was with me. Lost, I was ending up at the same place repeatedly. “No, I can’t bear so much of pain all together. I need relief”, I whispered to myself. I left my room and hurriedly descended the stairs. I wrenched open the door of my black Aston Martin DBS and drove swiftly down the sunset boulevard. In moments everything seemed so perfect, so heart-warming, but I realized a problem still existed…

Those images alone shocked me beyond belief, and yet there was more. I checked my watch. It was 6:32 P.M., the eve of 26th of April. “Ten years”, I thought, “are gone in a blink of an eye”, as it left goose bumps all over my body. I headed towards south past the Los Angeles Opera, where a grand musical concert was getting held, to discover peace of mind. Though I wanted to turn and run, I had no intentions to depart so soon. The chanting rose to high fever. The circle of audience seemed almost to be singing now, the noise rising in crescendo to frenzy. With a sudden roar, the entire hall seemed to erupt in climax. I could not breathe, suddenly realizing that I was quietly sobbing. I turned and silently went downstairs, out of the House and drove trembling back to my home. Back home, at my desk, I spotted a profoundly strange letter. It had some overwhelming calligraphy obscurely written, but from anonymous hands. I gave a dire sigh when a Polaroid snapshot slid through the narrow opening in it. My eyes flew open, a chill ran down my spine and I went rigid. The candid image was of none but my younger brother, Jared, who had a tragic death a decade ago. That was a snap clicked on the last day of his life, when we heartily promised each other that we won’t leave our hands ever as there was none to hold them back. My subconscious never fades to take me back to that day- I could not take that pain of his pathetic death as our parents had already left us, and then losing Jared broke me down completely. Was it so fair? Was that really needed? Why him of all other? Wasn't the pain of feeling orphan every moment enough? Things going on around me were making me algophobic.  

As I stared at the bizarre image, the initial revulsion and shock gave way to a sudden upwelling of anger. Perplexed, I almost cried out, though softly, and the horror now laced with fear. An irresistible desire seized me to look around myself. All of a sudden, I flinched to see my brother at my very doorsteps. I was occupied with multiplied fear. I saw him from the corner of my eye. I shivered, hardly able to move. He smirked and spoke something inaudible and at the very next one-blink-and-i-missed-it instance, he was nowhere around. It brought with it an unsettling sense of déjà vu. I felt his presence more with time and he was everywhere and in everything. “It seemed some kind of illusion to me due to excess obsession”, I thought. I saw a vision of him several times previously too and it seemed that the six-year-old unconditional lover was trying to say something. Though he knew I had phobia from horrifying stuffs, he kept his sudden visits mysterious, and that fed my schizophrenia. I was fumbling in darkness, nyctophobic, settled in a wild goose chase. I loved him more than scaring; it was like an eternal love between two immortal souls.

Next day I went out with my car before dawn. At the heart of Los Angeles, I found bliss after the cool sunrise. The trends in the place and people enlightened me of their familiar ways. I was enchanted to witness the oomph of the city- street vendors wheeling their carts, adults smartly dressed up in suits, greenery and the glass buildings dominated the area, groups of friends having ecstasy and amusement in the breeze scented with fresh flower blossoms reminded me of my teen ages, and so calm it was that the environment itself could not help navigate chaos. I drove down the sunlit streets, but not yet peacefully as Jared was there in my mind every moment. Unexpectedly, I was motionless and transfixed as I caught a glimpse of a small boy’s back who was akin to my beloved Jared. I was on the verge of calling out the boy by Jared, but then as I resumed senses, I thought if I would have done so, that would be pretty embarrassing. I was stunned to see him clearly, when he turned on his toes in his right. Those blonde hairs gleaming golden in daylight, flawless, tender, fair and as fresh as a flower, his snub nose, icy blue eyes, his innocence and charm was all that of my Jared. The road further was getting blocked but I firmly followed him. For a while, somewhere deep in my heart and mind, I presumed that he was it, Jared. But this boy showed no gestures and no signs of his reality, was unaware and vulnerable. I felt so numb like that boy before my eyes. He carried me desperately to an abandoned place, far from the city. “But I will not get rid of it until I’m alive, I know it well. I can’t even escape from it”, I mumbled under my breath out of immense agony. Resuming consciousness and baffled, I lifted my gaze towards the car window at my right and saw some words written on it with blood. Dazed, I read it-

‘Sometimes, when the body surrenders,

the spirit gets new wings. I don’t want to

make you realize my absence ever, both

when your eyes are opened and closed. 

P.S. You are mine even in the heavens, dear

sister- Lorraine.’

I was considerably taken aback. At length, suppressing a wince and staring at the lifeless soul was all that I could do as I darted my eyes to the Jared-alike boy fading in the distant dazzle of the horizon. Though he didn’t demystify everything, but he surely untangled few of my scariest thoughts.