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Illustration by @luciesalgado
We’re groupmates on a certain subject.
We began to talk as we discussed about the project.
But for some unknown reason,
We started talking about random things.
We became close but only on messenger
Because I’m too shy to talk to you in person.
It’s not like we talked about something important
But after that, it feels like our conversation
Is something special for the both of us.
Or maybe it was just me who felt that way.
Our classmates said you like someone.
And that someone is sitting on our row.
I wanted to know who is the girl,
The girl you like and is a friend to us.
But then a part of me doesn't want to.
I wanted to know because I want to make sure,
For me to stop hoping for something.
But I'm afraid I'll just end up getting hurt.
I started guessing, I was eager to know who she is.
Is it my seatmate or the one seating on the last of our row?
They said the answer is on the choices
But there's a possibility that the answer is none of the above.
They said that you always smile when you look at our row,
And that you keep on stealing glances at her.
A part of me is hoping that they're talking about me
But then, I knew it cannot be me.
It's not that I like you nor "love" you.
You can call it admiration or crush
But I guess, it can still create some damage.
It's been a while since I felt this way,
This unbelievably fast beating of the heart
And the mind that cannot stop thinking of you.
Why can't it be me? Why can't I be the one?!
It's like I'm melting when our eyes meet,
I can't even look at you in the eyes anymore!
The moment I realized that I admire you
Is also the moment I knew that you already like someone.
It wasn't actually that deep because I'm new to these things,
But why is there still a pinch inside my chest?
Damn, I’m not even sure what I really feel about you
But it feels like I’m already rejected!
Maybe I should really stop hoping for something.
I didn’t expect it to be this painful.
It is hard for me to cheer the both of you
Where in fact, I’m hurting deep inside!
Arghh, I hate this feeling!
But I thank you for letting me feel this way.
Because of you, I have something to write about.
And even if it's killing me,
I'm writing this, hoping the pain would just vanish.
Thoughts about what's happening to the society because of this novel coronavirus.
1031026 Launches
Part of the Poetry collection
Updated on September 08, 2017
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