My Dear diary

It’s always the person who you won’t think will ever hurt you that always does Nothing is fucking predictable, and you can’t predict anyones intentions in your life, you can only live through them and these past couple weeks I’ve been feeling so damn alone, I seem to forget that I am surrounded by people whos maybe love me idk anymore.

 I used to think that we were forever i mean, we’ve been through worse, and we were still side by side after it all and now nothing has even happened, we just stopped telling each other everything and then we just stopped telling each other anything at all, and then before i could even make sense of it, there was so much distance between us that there was nothing to reach for anymore. You're so far away, and there is no point in reaching over anymore because we are not the same couple we used to be We used to stay up on the phone talking for hours, now I cant even get a text back I used to think that when somebody said they loved you they’ll love you forever. I used to think loving someone was something that would never go away. the words “I love you” were so raw for me, but none of that makes sense anymore because the truth is people lie Sometimes “I love you” is just a lie, and sometimes its not But when do you know when its real?

the answer is, you dont... and sometimes someone will love you one day and then completely ignore you the next for no reason at all nothing about anything makes sense anymore  people are here one day, their gone the next. sometimes you don’t even get a reason, you just get to stay up night after night wondering where the fuck did it all go wrong? you keep wondering and thinking sometimes you get no reason to why someone just stops loving you and stops being there for you You just get to live through it 
When you decide to let go, it doesn’t mean you stopped caring or you lost hope, it just means that you’ve reached a point where you stopped trying to make others love you it doesn’t mean you’re giving up it just means that you’re ready to stop fighting a losing battle it doesn’t mean you’re settling it just means you’re tired of being the one who always extends a hand to those who don’t want to hold it and keeping hurts you every damn chance they get and you’re tired of opening your arms to those who turn their backs on you, it doesn’t mean you’re weak it means you’re forgiving it means you’re trying to forget so you can heal so you can move past the heartbreak. It means you’re taking care of your heart for once., it doesn’t mean you’ve stopped loving that person, it means that you’re trying to love yourself more. It means you’re letting love come to you instead of chasing it, you’re not losing hope, you’re only hoping for more, hoping for better, hoping for something worth holding on to Because in letting go, you learn that sometimes hanging on hurts more In letting go, you learn that some people only come into your life to teach you how to move on you learn that the things that you’re afraid of doing are exactly the things you need to do so you can grow and set yourself free, you learn that you may lose some people but you will always find yourself...