I was scrolling down the news feed out of boredom. Not getting anyone online at this odd hour was really frustrating. I checked my messenger once again. No one was online but him. I knew him since I was a 6th grade student but never talked to him. So breaking the ice was a bit difficult thing for me.
'Hi,' I typed and stared to think if I should send him a message first.
I was lost in my thoughts when my cat jumped over me and I pressed send by mistake. The message was sent and I had no idea whom to blame the cat or my luck. Blaming the cat wasn't a good idea in my view so I choose to blame myself. I was blaming myself to behave so desperate. Although I was not desperate but who knows what will he be thinking. These were the only thought in my mind. My phone beeped after a minute.
'Hi' the screen read.
Talking to him for the first time was not at all a bad experience at all. Little did I know that the guy I thought to be so egoistic had a humble heart.
After that day I regularly used to talk to him. He was the one I sheared all my feelings wit nothing was hidden from him. And one day I realized I was in love with him.
That day something strange happened he didn't came online. No this was not the strange thing the strange thing was that I felt desperate without him. Every time I received a message I hoped it was him. But it was not. I sat on the chair thinking of him. That moment it tossed to my mind if I was thinking about him in a causal way. I started to recall since when was he in my mind and I ended up concluding since the day I met him he never left me.
I knew proposing him won't do any good. I knew he didn't loved me but somewhere I wanted him to know. I told him. He refused but that day our friendship got a new turn.
A kind of one sided love I never had heard about. A one sided love where you never had to hide you feelings for him. I was able to tell him everything I liked about him and even more I was able to tell him how much I loved him. I didn't win but neither do I loose completely. I got someone with whom I can laugh and cry a person who offered me his shoulder when ever I need rest and yeah when he called me babu that was the best thing I ever had. Yeah this was my one sided love.
But things change people change time change. With the passage of time our friendship faded its color. I even had no idea when I lost him so much so that the same person became a complete stranger for me. Now he never reacts to my feeling in the way he used to do rather he changed the topic of our conversation. He no more used to call me babu. Day by day he was a bit more far away and the worst thing was he didn't cared. Yup it was a usual thing for me to face people who come in my life and then break me. But this time it was something different.I lost a person who was not mine but still mine. He seemed to be very casual about it. I felt unwanted but there was nothing I could do to make things alright.
All I wanted was his happiness so if he didn't liked my presence in his life I had no right to disturb him.
'Hi' I texted.
'Hi' He replied.
'Sometimes I don't want to text you...' I said. I knew it was going to be very tough but I had to.
'Why?' He asked.
'Am I that useless to text you. When you yourself are never interested to text me first?' I replied. 'Friendship can't be forced.'
'Don't talk rubbish.' He replied.
'Well after today I will never. Bye,'
'Bye,' He replied.
After an hour he texted me. To know the reason of my decision. But my eyes were blurred with tears to explain him anything. I was crying because I knew it was a bitter end of my sweet one sided love story. After that day he never texted me. Seeing him online my heart wanted me to text him but I stopped myself saying "If you really love someone learn to let them go for their happiness."
I let him go and he never came back. It hurts me and will hurt for life time. I never loved anyone like I loved him. But I still smile because his memories are always with me no matter where he is and I still love him because of those precious memories I had no matter if they are faded in him they still are alive in me and will follow me to my grave.