The most difficult choice I ever I had to do was to let you go. Not because I didn’t want to, but because letting you meant I was moving on and ending a chapter of my life that I hadn’t finished writing yet, but the calamities obliged me to. It had been a while since I started brainwashing myself, telling myself over and over again that I didn’t need you and that I deserved better. Nonetheless, there was a part of me who couldn’t realise that from lovers we had turned to complete strangers again.
Then again, it is your right to leave, to forget me, to erase me from your memory, to act as if I never meant anything to you. Maybe I never did, maybe I was just persuading myself, to console my conscious, that I meant something to you. How did all this love die? I did not know. I probably never will, since some things are left unanswered forever. I stopped trying to understand where did I go wrong because I realised that it only caused me more pain and made me wonder even more if I could’ve have done anything to avoid this. I finally accepted the fact that it was inevitable and out of my hands. Our love could not be saved because it had already died long ago, we just weren’t aware of that.
Over the seven seas, out of all sceneries, you were my favourite masterpiece. I never understood what made me fall for you because you literally had every characteristic I hated in a guy. But there was something in your warm voice, and hazel eyes that made me fall for you over and over again each time I looked at you. You were not what I had planned, as a child, to pop up in my head when I thought about love, but your face could not get out of my head. I was trapped in your love and felt incomplete when you were away.
Unfortunately the circle of life makes it that somethings aren’t meant to last forever. Happiness and sadness are temporary, but heart breaks leave a mark on us until our death. It’s something that changes us even a tiny bit, it changes our perception of something, or our way of thinking. Even though we both moved on, even though you choose to forget me, I won’t. Not now, never will, because I can’t. I can’t forget someone that meant the world to me, and was my first true love. You will always have a special place in my heart although I do believe you do not deserve it, but as I said, somethings are simply out of my head.
I just wish that one day, you see someone who looks like me and for a fraction of a second I cross your mind. And in that moment, I hope you do your little smirk and remember my face, my ugly nose you always laughed about, but most importantly the sound of my heart beat against your skin, and the pressure of my lips against your cheeks.