16042018

It’s hard to be sad when you don’t even know the reason why. You try to dig in with whatever possible reason the sudden sadness would cause, but you end up still not knowing why. It’s even harder when you want to open it up to someone who would possibly know the initial reason, but here you are, trying to keep it to yourself instead because you just don’t know how to start. People may think that you’re going insane, not even sure if they’re right or not. You plan on things that you would do for the following days, thinking of booking a flight and travel solo for your own reflection, wanting to forgive yourself for all the disappointments you have become and becoming, but not really sure if it will work. You’re not sure where to go, whom to talk to, how to somehow end this craziness and just simply move forward. You pity those who could actually pretend to be happy when deep inside, they’re actually not, simply because pretending isn’t your thing and you always find ways to be honest for yourself. In the end, it’s always you against everyone else then. Sitting at a nearby coffee shop, smoking endlessly, drinking your favorite fruit and tea combination, but you still feel this emptiness inside you.