all these voices in my head get loud, I wish that I could shut them out

I got one of the most accomplishing things someone could ever get last month... I passed the entrance examination for Master in Educational Management. I was so excited especially with the fact that I'll be going back to school to study, because of that overwhelming feeling, I wasn't able to consider the pros and cons of pursuing the program. All this time, I thought that if this thing will consider a lot of time, focus and effort, then it wouldn't be a problem on my end (lucky me!)... since I got all the time for myself after work as I'm not yet teaching.

Damn, who knew I could be this wrong?! 

Currently, I'm taking 2 minor subjects only namely, Foundations of Education and Research 1. First day of class, we discussed several topics about FOE. I felt like I was an outcast among my classmates as literally most of them are teachers. All the terminologies my professor mentioned that time were all jargon for me. This made me think if I really did the right decision. Day 1 was so heavy because of overflowing requirements from only one subject. Thank God the other professor was not around, tho! Time management is my forte ever since, but this time, I might need a little (...or more?) refresher! 

The exhaustion I felt that day was not normal and I knew from there that something's not right. I even thought of quitting (up until now.) I always get sick because I'm not getting enough sleep anymore, my mind is always preoccupied with so many things (be it from school, work, personal stuff, etc.)

Would it be fine if I risk my own health status for something that I know I can be proud of eventually? For something that can possibly give me a promising future? 

I know giving up something that I earned is not my thing, but I can't help but keep on infusing my mind that it's okay to take a rest first. At some point of being an adult requires building a hierarchy of priorities. "Yes, it's fine to rest," but why does it feel like I'm such a failure? Most days, I'm quiet but my mind is being clouded with different scenarios I don't even know if helpful. I even got sadder on days when I wasn't able to go to work because I was unwell, I got several bruises from behind that I couldn't freely move, I definitely didn't know where I had them; my body became so sensitive then. 

I have this online therapist whom I can talk to whenever I feel like I'm in a sunken place -- hollow, deep, dark. Tried opening this up to my close friends but it unfortunately didn't help at all as I couldn't take their initial reactions. 

I have yet to make any decisions but all I can say is that I'm tiiiiiiiirrrrrreeeeedddddd!

Listening to: Let you down - NF