Behold, the Eyes

- there are two POVs here, hope y'all won't be confused-

Growing up, I never dare speak to anyone, an excuse to shy away. Might've had some sort of fast metabolism cause I never gained the average weight boys my age does. Though I was deemed as some "freak", not once has it bothered me. 

Yet it was that day, an inevitable change was bound to meet me face to face. Arrived in the shed just in time, plugged in my earphones as it had saved me from almost anything. The soft mellows of the piano partially drowned out the annoying pitter-patter on pavement. I used to enjoy it though, the rain. Used to bask in the comfort it once gave, granted me a taste of the sheer bliss of freedom, calmed me more than anything. 

Yet, I lost someone to it. 

What once were sweet pomegranate seeds morphed into bitter acid I can barely endure. Outside the shed there was this girl who spoke out of nowhere, professing her love for the rain like she was Romeo calling out to Juliet. Arms outstretched, eyes closed, head tilted to face the heavens, her red hair completely soaked, and a smile. A smile that showed how serene she was even as she was drenched from head to toe. I felt envious, how a person can be so at peace and how blessed the heavens must've felt to witness such a serene smile. 

The craziest thing was, she hadn't noticed me as she threw her soaked things inside the shed hitting me right in the face. "Omg I'm so sorry, are you alright?" Soft almond eyes with the hint of worry greeted me, she apologized and surprisingly, I maintained a decent conversation with her even with a stuttering voice. Up until the bus ride, we talked and talked, even found out that we go to the same school. She was the first, I hope she'll still be. 

I was in a dark place when I met him, the boy in the shed all scrawny and pale with those dull grey eyes. We were quite an odd pair, to be honest, but I guess the same broken feathers flock together or maybe something like that. Since that very out-of-the-ordinary day, we got to know each other better. Even found out that he loathed the rain and why. Were both there for each other, rooted for one another.

Years passed, no one dared to ask. As if it was evident enough, that we were "together" together. Annoying voices filled the halls, filled each room we went in. "Are you sure you aren't together?" or "Have you made up your mind yet?" Prodding into our lives like it was anything profound to gain from. But what struck me the most was "You may not feel anything, but maybe he does."

Surely gave me an energy jolt, eyes wide, a fingernail constantly in between my teeth. I began to ponder over our relationship. How he changed from being tedious to happy and even talks to other girls. A few tried a shot at him, but I was mean to those girls. A bad habit he says as I was protective of him. Who could blame me? He was like the thin ice on a river when I met him.  

These past few months, all I've ever felt was like I'm stuck. I don't know what I want to be and it terrifies me to the bone. While my ever-so-traditional parents said that it was just a "phase" and that I don't have to figure it out anymore because I should be in the medical field. "Be the first doctor" they say, I wish they would just stop pulling on the leash they've unconsciously placed on me. It was as if I was on the edge of tears, I don't want this.

I was here again, the drunken father laid bare on the living room couch. How his words would crumble my façade, words he thought of as encouragements were sugar-coated insults. Once again, an attempt to redeem myself through art. I started with the outline of the head along with the facial features. Lips with a prominent cupid's bow, full brows that are arched, bunny nose that scrunches up after every laugh, and those eyes, those almond eyes that always hold hope within them. I must show this to her, I bet she'll love it. Reminding myself that I drew her, oh how foolish can I be? I erased the facial features and left the nose and lips, I can't let her find out this way.

"Omg!! This is beautiful! I never knew you're this good. Expect a commission from me anytime soon, okay?" How her words carry such bliss to my soul, her encouragement helped me on a much greater scale than I ever thought it could. She has become the most important person to me, she was the first and I hope she'll still be.

Being with him always felt refreshing, he was some sort of recharge for me. I envied him for excelling in a hobby of his, how his works scream beauty in them. Every brushstroke, every trace of lead from his number 2 pencil. His talent for accurately recreating an object, be it sketch or paint. Yet the more proud I became the less envy that plagued my thoughts.

We went to a nearby café which I so heavenly adore, not only does their café filled with the bittersweet aroma of roasted beans, their coffee is the best in the whole world I swear! He was feeling extra chivalrous today, got my chair for me, offered to take off my coat, and even knew my order. I've never been so flustered, a sudden surge of flutters and adrenaline. How dare he made me feel this way, I only hope it wasn't some nonsensical flirtations. 

As he came back to our table, I was surprised that he ordered my drink the exact way I like it. The fact that I haven't mentioned anything about my favorites sent my senses haywire, heart beating erratically, refusing to look him in the eye.

As time passed and he was sharing some story about a mishap in his painting, "I’m very proud of you, I hope you know that" he blurted out of nowhere. I looked straight into his eyes, oh those damn sapphire eyes, hues of gray no longer evident. Full brows, his pink lips, a prominent nose. His eyes are full of admiration, it glisters even. It's like I'm seeing him for the first time, a beautiful man before me. 

Could this be true? It's like I'm seeing her for the first time. Her shining eyes are full of love and hope, they bore through my soul a thousand times deeper. Now I know what the heavens felt, do they envy me now?