I don't fuck with you so...Pt2

2 days later I'm gone! Keep telling no one
that I'm going and where, I just wouldn't be there
Rehab and Therapy would more than a year to be.
after more than a decade, daily Cocaine, Heroin and Benzodiazepines I've take.
The withdrawal alone lasted six months of fun
the same dream every night for month..on..and on..and on
Putting the needle into my vein, but no kick ,just awaking and the rest of the night no sleeping 
Psychological withdrawal symptoms of cocaine addiction 
Physical withdrawal symptoms of Benzodiazepines? Always action.
I thought I got insane,
 for month completely restless being 
you can't sleep for weeks, if sitting down it will only 1 or 2 minutes it keeps
then you have to stand up ,always in motion fucked up
I've never relapsed since then, with Benzos, H or cocaine. 
I got a plan for my life, a family, kids and wife
I've never had a "normal" living as teenager the profession professional criminal given
a natural talent in crime, that was mine 
No conscience, no compromise, no mercy 
To reach the goal ,my brotherhood called me.
I'm not proud of what I've done and see, 
but in environment I live happened naturally 
When there's no good, you won't the bad to see
you don't even know what the right decisions in life might be, cause you would never see.
For years never left the house without a bullet-proof 9and stab-proof vest
 especially since I got the battery and controller for my brain in my chest
Without it my body will kill me , since there is no dopamine to be
also it's physical impossible for me
to feel envy or luck as long as my existence will be
and I never can get satisfaction 
Without dopamine the brain can't do this action 
The doctors said at the time there was no therapy 
so that I wouldn't reach the age of 30
When I got ill humans killed last humanity 
there was in my 21 year old me to be
At this point I'm going to make the authorities happy, cause since years they appreciated what my IQ might be, 
cause like the criminal Kriminaldirektor said, 
that might be the reason he thought danger i get
You fucking pubic service criminal, there will be a two first at, but instead 
of you paedophile bastard there will more than one more number followed 
I suggested alienating Parkinsonism stereotactic therapy, as the way to rescue me 
That works, like you could see. But the mediciners didn't listen to me, cause I'm not one of them to be
Only one Professor was listen 
While I am in the nursing home with in
There for a year I stared at the blanket unable to move myself. I know that hell is a place on earth.
The sound it made , when your neck brake you never forget that cracking noise in your head.
Sometimes suffocated 
while fully conscious because your larynx muscles cramped?
Scratches one's neck bloody, in Hope able to breathe to be and time seems infinitely long
before your consciousness is gone.
That year blanket staring , only my thoughts and me being, I got much time for reflection and thinking.
For example I didn't recognize I "loose" the ability to feel lucky 
therapist found out it's cause I've never before be
I noticed that there was no more envy 
My entire childhood has determined this feeling, 
Jealous of all the other kids I'm dealing 
That they wouldn't beaten up without no reason, 
that they have a loving family and a home.
In "the staring year" I began to see some things clear.
Envy gives way to hate and contempt for my environment,
Teachers,  neighbors and the authorities known the situation in my childhood I've stand 
My mother's roar was known to everyone in town, our house called the witch's house ,known 
What was going on there, in which situation I were 
Why did nobody help me for about 14 years, 
if they knew and saw my fears?
I can't act like that, if I realized a child get harmed 
I MUST react about that, 
even when I have his parents to smack-
down. Like that "mother" hits her little boy in his face in public, for that smash her cheekbones I had.
Hitting a woman is not generally taboo,  three times in my life I have to do. Second time was the situation I'm just telling you.
First time was with my female producer. 
The selfless bitch the third case about where,
didn't get her full punishment since now,
for what she does ,she'll have to go
to the grave, when my daughter is of legal age.
That this will come in future for truth,  I've paid a seven-digit amount to. I know the day she's going to die, that will apply. 
Can write this here cause law says 
,prove it me beyond any doubt it has
to prosecute me for it, the German criminal law is the shit. The clearance rate for murder in Germany is around 50% for real, the vast majority of which are not even recognized as such,that's the deal.
There is no Corona here 
and in most cases no corpse people just disappear 
A garden shredder, a boat and the sea, for example is all it has to be. Out to sea ,where something to be shredded and the shredder lingering 
in the sea. Safely clean the boat with hydrogen or chlorine 
This is the end of "I don't fuck with you so…"Part 2
But I'm going to write the final third Part for you