There were simpler times when I had nothing to worry about. A carefree soul just facing whatever life was throwing at me. I never expected to care for someone ever again. I lost hope and it was the only thing that was keeping me, me. I have never shown anyone how dejected I was. I had friends that lifted me up all the time. But the pain, I kept it to myself. This is what I deserved, I kept telling myself. I did not expect to be happy ever again.
I use my humor to shield myself from catching anything that could cause me any more pain. Luckily, that failed this time. One day I woke up and realized something. My heart was beating out of my chest. My brain started rewiring itself to be my jolly self again. The hefty burden from my past I had been carrying was shot down. For a second, I felt weightless and I closed my eyes to embrace the momentary peace. But there was no darkness anymore, I could see a light.
When I could see clearly, I saw your face. It was you. You were beaming and I felt at peace. You brought me back from the dead. How or why, I did not know. Days and nights went by but I could not find a reason. Finally, I understood what this new feeling was. It was me falling in love all over again for the first time, with you.
I could not say anything to you before because I was a coward. Besides, this was something else and something new. Something that I wanted to nurture and keep forever. My heart felt heavier with every month going by. I thought if I could express myself without saying anything to you, maybe you would understand and lessen the trouble. Today, my love for you has grown so much that I cannot keep it to myself anymore. I have to say something. I must tell you how I feel about you before I explode. So, I have written this for you to understand where you stand in my life. I Love You.