If it’s Love, it’s never Lost

The Summer holidays were over and a new school term started. I was starting the 6th grade at that time with all my old friends returning. The first class was about to start when I saw a new student enter the class with a stupefied look on her face. There was no smile but panic. Anxiously, she took an empty seat and unpacked her bag for the first class. None of the others noticed her the way I did. I could tell because they just ignored her. I was about to talk to her and the teacher called for the order in the class. She made us introduce ourselves. It was more to herself than for the rest of the class. But I was eagerly waiting to know the name of the new girl. One after another, my classmates sat down after introducing themselves, and finally, she stood up. The teacher paused for a moment and said, “You are new to our school. Would you face the others and tell us about yourself and where you came from?” Nervously, she walked to the front of the class and turned to us. Noticeably, she was the most beautiful girl in the class. When she started speaking, it was like a soothing voice that filled your heart with joy. It was at that time I decided to be friends with her.

During recess, I walked up to her seat and said, “Hi, I’m Eric.” Behind me, my friends rushed over, “Seems like you are the new girl. How come you transferred from the city to this gutter village of ours? Aren’t the schools around there better than here? Or did they chuck you out for doing something sinister?” It was Frank. He had a weird sense of humor that only those who are close to him could understand. Unmistakably, the others roared with laughter before the new girl could tell him anything. She stood up and left us to our amusement. My first shot at being her friend was ruined by none other than my best friend. I wanted to yell at him and shut his wide mouth for good. But I couldn’t. I figured I wasn’t brave enough.

Months passed and I never went back for a second attempt. I figured she hated me for all the good reasons. Frank and the others never left an opportunity to say anything to upset her. I wasn’t a saint either. I avoided eye contact with everyone when this happened. I thought being ignorant was better than being a bully.

One evening, while we were playing out in the playground, I noticed that she was sitting alone reading something in the stands. Walking up to her seemed to be a difficult task, the nearer I got to her the heavier my body felt. She looked at me and my brain wiped blank. I couldn’t remember why I was there or who I was. All I know was that I wanted to be with her. “Hi, you are Eric. I could tell from the look you have, it’s the same as when you talked to me before,” she smiled. My mouth was dry and somebody was calling my name. It was Frank. I bolted as quickly as possible without saying anything.

She endured more hard times from Frank and the others but she never forgot to smile. A year passed and the summer began again. It was the most boring vacation ever and the only thing that kept me going was the hope of seeing her again. A new term and old friends but she wasn’t there. She left the school, the village, and me.

A few years later, I moved to the city for work. One day I was at the airport when someone tapped me on the shoulder. “Hi, Eric, right? Do you remember me from school?” How could I ever forget her? Seeing her again made me feel the same way as when I first met her. This time I pulled up my courage and talked. We sat on a bench and talked about our lives for a long time. But it seemed to me that only minutes passed. An announcement made her rush to her boarding gate. I followed and before she could get in, I pulled her to the side and said, “I’m sorry for what we did in school. I’m not so proud of what I was when I was 12. But I always wanted to be friends with you. It’s the others I was so afraid of.” She smiled again. It was one of those things that didn’t change over the years. “I wondered if you would ask me why I left without saying goodbye.”

“I always wanted to ask.”

“It was my father. His work didn’t let us stay in a place for a long time. That made me friendless wherever I went. But you were the first to talk to me.”

“But I never talked with you except a sentence or two.”

“And that was enough for me. Now, this time I want to say a proper goodbye before I leave.” She hugged me, whispered goodbye, and turned to her gate. I didn’t know what came into me, suddenly, I said, “Listen when you get back, can I take you to dinner?” I stood there hoping for her to say yes. She turned around and smiled at me, “When I get back? Yeah, let’s do that. It’d be wonderful. Goodbye.”

That was the last time I saw her. The last time I heard her voice. Her last goodbye. She never made it to her destination. I wanted to tell her so many things. I thought we’d have time. I was lost and didn’t know what I felt was love when I was a kid. Now that I realized I was in love with her, I cannot tell her anymore. She never knew that I wanted to be with her. I can’t tell her she is the most beautiful and an amazing person I’ve ever met. I could never call her again. All I can think now is that I should’ve told her the day I met her. That she had the most wonderful name of all, Elsa.