dear self

Dear Self,

I’m sorry I didn’t protect your peace.

I’m sorry for the sadness, the pain and the unnecessary heartbreak.

Sorry for not having done better and for all the lessons that were learned too late.

I’m sorry for the anger that was kept too deep for too long and for the hard time you’re having to let it all go.

I’m sorry for the inconsistence and the cowardice and for all the dreams lost because of it.

Sorry for the things that cannot be undone and the things you wish I could’ve done.

I’m sorry for not doing enough for the people you love and for all the regrets that keep you awake at night.

Sorry for letting fear keep you in bed in the morning, scared to face the outside.

I’m sorry for the time that was lost trying to build you just to let you crumble down.

I’m sorry for the directions I took that made you feel lost and that until now, you are still trying to find your way.

I’m sorry for my steps that made you stumble.

Sorry for not knowing where do we go from here.

I’m sorry for the disappointment and frustration with no one else to blame but me.

I’m sorry for the adventures you haven’t gone to and for the right people you never met.

Sorry for the plans that never happened and the stories in your head that remained unwritten.

I’m sorry for the promises that were broken and the words I should never have spoken.

I’m sorry for the friendships lost along the way.

I’m sorry for not growing up in the same pace as growing older.

Sorry for the expectations you never met and for the future you never got to have.

I’m sorry, Self, for not loving you the right way.

And I’m sorry that until now, all I can do is apologize and say, “I’m trying… I’m doing my best..”