You were pure,
with that, I am sure.
When it all began, I was genuinely happy.
Being with you was euphoric.
I may not be vocal, but I want you to feel it.
Whenever you speak, or tell random stories,
I listen with my ears, and stare at you with my eyes.
Seeing your eyes, deep like an ocean, I knew I was blessed.
My heart feels like as if something warm has wrapped its string around.
It's like, being with someone you prayed for a very long time.
You were plain, my friend says you're boring.
I think the otherwise, because you were kind.. You are one of a kind.
You were that man who makes his woman feels so fucking special.
You were that man who makes his woman feels so loved.
You were that man who does stupid things, just to make his woman happy.
Never worry, because you weren't difficult.
You know your woman's worth, that's why you were too careful.
Way, way, too careful.
Every thing, every little thing were always special to me.
The everyday talks, the everyday emoji kisses and hugs was childish yet lovely to me.
The midnight conversations and future dreams built within the tiny box of chat was as good as it was to be done.
Everything was good, except for one.
Your woman.
I want to let you know that I never doubted you or your intentions.
I love it when you do things that makes my heart flutter.
And make random efforts to gain my favor.
But it wasn't supposed to be like that.
I never wanted a perfect relationship.
And the picture of me and you in one frame makes me feel like i'm far less worthy for you.
You don't deserve someone who treats you less of what you should be treated.
You don't deserve someone who gets mad at things you weren't even aware of.
You don't deserve someone who doesn't appreciate you so well.
You don't deserve me, because you deserve more than what I can offer.
I was far, so far from the woman you should deserve.
You were too good to be true for someone like me.
You were too kind, for a rose with so much thorns.
And;
I don't deserve a man who can't fight for what we had together.
I don't deserve a man who can't go on and break the hurtful words I utter.
I don't deserve a man who is not sure of what matters.
And I don't deserve a man who can't go on the ends, just to be my partner.
I didn't thought it would end up this fast.
I didn't knew, that you started having uncertainty.
I didn't knew, that before I gave you up, you started giving me up.
When I told you to decide, I was praying for you to stay.
It was tough, it was a rough road, but I want you to still stay.
I just want to test how far you can stay if I push you away.
I just want to test how serious you are for this stage of our relationship to work.
Turns out, you already felt done.
My hopes for you were high,
and I never thought you'll end up saying good bye.
I told you too many times, not to be like them.
Turned out, you became one of them.
I don't hate you or anything, never will I remorse you.
It was all on me, who complicate things and was always overthinking.
It was me. My shitty personality.
Sorry you have to deal with someone like me.
Thank you for the time you spent with me.
Sorry that I didn't get to appreciate you more.
Thank you for all your efforts.
Sorry for being too 'baby'.
Thank you for making me feel special.
Sorry. Thank you. And I knew that I am starting to love you, that's why I lose you.
I can't take the pain if I dive deeper in the moment, and this thing happened.
I don't know if i'll be able to handle a deeper wound.
I don't know if I can afford to handle more pain.
× × ×
And to end this poem,
Don't worry about my faith.
Yes. I always pray.
I have always prayed, that if you were worth the risk of falling, then God, give him to me.
And He gave me the answer.
That day, you gave up on me.
-KABD