I taught myself not to cry myself to sleep.
Because crying makes me weak, and fear would crawl into my dreams and I would have nightmares.
And so it happened, a nightmare of what it seems like losing someone you spend your life with. It's like having no control of losing them and leaving you devastated for hours and hours and hours of sleeping through that nightmare.
It would leave me puzzled, awakened by the sound of my sniffles and a heavy breathing. Wondering why a nightmare could feel so real, that even though my eyes are wide open, the reality of it happening is so near.
What would I do if lose the person I dear love the most? How could I cope up of living without a piece of me, and at the first place, why did I let myself sleep and have nightmares.
09.15.2019