9 Months, 272 Days, 6,528 Hours

She stared at his back as he slowly walked away from her.

9 months she waited. 272 days she longed to see his face. 6528 hours she imagined holding his hands.

26 days. That was all she had in the end. 624 hours was spent on memorizing every nuance, every curve, every wrinkle, every expression, every freckle on his face. 624 hours was all the chance she had to hold his hand like it was a buoy that would save her from drowning.

But as she stared at his back, the sound of his leaving footsteps consuming every single sense she had, she swallowed down her fear, her insecurity, her doubts and the sob that was trying to crawl up her throat, wanting to escape the prison of her lips. Her fingers were slowly numbing, her feet were glued to where she stood.

She never thought that the hardest part of this was actually saying goodbye. The hardest part was having to pull herself back together when all she could feel is her shattering heart.

Pull him back, pull yourself back. She kept repeating that in her head. It was difficult to choose when one was necessary and the other was of great importance. Letting him go was what she needed to do, but how could she when with him he took his heart. She felt like an empty shell slowly breaking, piece by broken piece.

He looked back and smiled, waved at her. “We can do this,” he mouthed and that was all it took to get her shattered pieces off the floor where she was standing and she felt whole again. His brown eyes spoke volumes of his love for her. “I love you,” he mouthed again and she felt hope rising, crawling, climbing past all her fears, her insecurities, her doubts and the sob and finally… finally, she knew that they could make it. She realized that no matter how difficult this will be, no matter where this leads, he will be there. Not physically, but in all the other ways.

It will never be easy, just like it wasn’t in the last 9 months. But what was waiting for 9 months compared to a lifetime of happiness and love? It’s like comparing a seed to a full grown tree.

Yes, they will fight. They will break each other’s hearts over and over again. There will be times when she will give up, and there will be moments when he will, too. But at the end of it all, she knows that they will keep choosing each other.

So she waved back, gave him a knowing smile to let him know he means everything to her. “I’ll see you in April, babe,” she mouthed back. He smiled and she has never been more in love with him than at this moment.

9 months she will wait.  281 days she will wait to see his face again.  6,744 hours she will imagine holding his hands again.