ON THE DEATHBED

Aman rushed to the hospital situated in the core area of the city in kolkata.Though it's needed to be quiet around hospitals,it never was and it's the same case here.His wife who is on the bed of a room at the sixth floor of the massive private hospital is staring at window and looking towards infinity with a little smile in her face.The morning sun is just brightening up.It is around 7 am in morning.

He himself being a doctor and an associate of the hospital knows exactly this is the time when he can actually talk with his wife with some time without thinking of toiling over different patients.His duty hours will start at 8 am, and now he can talk with his beautiful newly married wife who is admitted to the hospital just three months ago for an accident and now on a life support system since the incident.

he started the conversation..

" so how are you today my darling?"

his wife Tania replied: " as always.Not bad.Not good though.but now i am happy that you are not late today''

 "How can i be late today?its your birthday" Aman said it with a hint of a smile in his face.

" so its my death day also"

the words of her fell like a cold splash of water in midst of december out of nowhere. Yes she was talking for the Euthanasia for a time but he could not take it seriously and everytime she want to talk about it he knowingly switch into other topics and start smile for anything. He could not stand the fact that his most beloved person in the world will leave him. Though it is true that the life she was leading is painful but still she is alive. A  alive life. Everyday day millions die for accident for disease for old age or for any damn cause.It's natural,and he being the doctor has seen death many times in front of his eyes.Many times he comforted the friends and families of the dead by his practised same words.But the irony is he couldn't stand the loss of his loved one. That he has the only person left in the whole world whom he can trust and love.

He replied " i am in no joking mood today. I just want to celebrate your birthday"

Tania: "but i want just wanted to die and nothing i want for now or ever"

aman: " I am going.If this was is your wish do what you want"

Tania: " But dear, i am unable to write.You need to do the paperwork for the euthanasia as you are my gurdian"

aman stared with eyes which is begining to be filled with tears. He washed his face and eyes with a handkerchief and said-

" i said tani i am not in mood of talking about your death please dont say it again and ever as i won't support this"

Tania: " i am dying everyday aman.i cannot walk i cannot eat ownself.i cannot touch you i cannot write again my words. my dream of being an author,dream of being a mother is shattered. Lots of words to be told lots of thing to be done but i cannot.this life has no futility. I know you always try to smile and look happy in front me but as i know you in our seven years of friendship, five years of relationship and one year of marriage that you cry everyday in night. You don't drink you don't smoke you don't write you don't share you only do cry. And what do you think aman having realized that i am cause of your misery i will be happy to live in this f**king machine?what do you think i am living for now? Is this you call a life dr. aman biswas?"

Tania is not allowed to talk this much and breathed heavy after her long words.aman come hurriedly near to bed and rest his hands in her chin which was moist.

"so you have finalised that you want to die? and that of also in your birthday?"

"yes dear that will be good for both of us.You can marry again after my death."she said with a grin and smile in his face.

"dont think about what i will do after your death ms.author?"

"who said i am an author aman? it is just a dream"

"no its not" he said and took off a book named "love and beyond" by Tanima biswas. He published it with his own expenses.The manuscripts was in her laptop which he managed.

seeing the book in his hands and her name on that she couldn't utter a words.he said" you still want to die?"

''No" is the word only she can say. and after that an immense silence that itself speaks many words.

Who said a book is just a book, a mere compilation of words thoughts and fact and fiction?

sometimes it is a life also.