The rough road

There are always times when you wander in your thoughts... when time seems never ending. All those never asked questions seem to be relevant and irrelevant at same time and then just a view from past, present or future comes up in your head and you have new questions without any clue for their answers.

17th Feb.'2014, 5:30 a.m.

**A stupid ringtone in the background starts disturbing my dream** It was my papa calling me for the third time and I was almost going to miss it even this time but fortunately I answered the call, "haan papa? what happened? why are you calling so early? ", I asked in one breath. He sounded quite worried which made me feel uneasy. "your mother is unwell, she needs you", he said timorously. 

I have never felt so helpless like I did at that point of time. He asked me to come back from Pune to Bhopal as soon as possible. **my mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia after a month my papa called me**. I reached Bhopal the very next day my papa called and it was a nightmare for me to see my mother in that situation.

22nd Nov.' 2016, 00:43 a.m.

Its been more than two years that I came back from Pune to be with my mother and to payback the times she gave me, though its practically and emotionally impossible to payback what a mother gives to a child, but I am trying and I will keep trying. 

Now, these are the times I was talking about when I started writing, when you just get lost in some thought first and then the memories.

Now, if I look two years back from today and judge myself, I see a girl with no ambition, no gist and nothing she could value in herself. But now when I look at myself, I see a person with life goals, family goals and love & responsibility in her heart and soul.... A person with self-confidence, and a person who is ambitious. I am not bragging about myself but I am just trying to prove to everyone who reads this that whatever happens in anyone's life either good or bad, happens for a reason to make you a better person.

I remember myself as tired, frustrated and devastated, because I had to face a lot of changes in my life which were quite difficult to handle for 19 year old girl, at least in India.

But there is always one way or the other. If one door closes then there might be a huge gate opened for you. You just need to look around. always trust your instincts and trust yourself and you will get through every difficult scenario.  

Though, I am still facing my mother's condition but now I am sure that I can handle it. 

Always remember "THIS WILL ALSO PASS AWAY!"

thanks!