A Different Version

When it is 3 A.M. and perhaps all the world is asleep and I for no reason was awake and dreamt with eyes open. Dreamt with tears in the eyes. Dreamt with pain in heart, pain like hell. All the lights were turned off up-to the street light even which is generally not switched off. In this darkness amidst mosquitoes my phone's screen lit up with a notification which increased the adrenaline rush, the blood flow and of-course the  heart beat rate. The upper body went cold with the heart heated and legs shivering. My eyes turned red and the ears too, got heated. Where is the notification from?  Was the question.
I took the mobile phone  to check out, it was from WhatsApp as expected. My hands were trembling with my fingers clicking the wrong app instead of the notified one. Some how I managed some energy to check the message. My gut said that the reply was positive.
If it is a positive reply what will I be doing next? What reply I will give? And if it is negative? No i should think positive  always. I said to myself.
With a smile on the face in the dark, every thing seemed to be magical with those expectations which could turn into so many different things in a second.
With all expectations to be positive reply I opened the message in no time. When I saw the reply I was spellbound by such a spell which I never ever heard, such a spell which never happened to me, such a spell which creates a great turn of life, such a spell which changes everything, such a spell which is the most powerful spell, such a spell which is the spell of all the spells. The spell is not deciphered yet and no one can decipher the spell so powerful and so difficult to understand.
I saw outside towards the sky and the stars and the moon. I saw a star bright enough to attack the eyes and attract towards it. The start was quite near to the moon but was getting detached from the moon, I saw. The star started to move away from the moon.
Obviously the answer was NO. That was the magical charm which changed me, changed me to many things, broke me down to zillion pieces which got dispersed away from me and probably can never get recollected.
Now I don't wake up early in the morning, nor do I study, nor do I dream to do BIG now. I keep my-self awake up-to 3 in the morning for no reasons. But the 3 A.M. me is a different version of myself. This is the time when I realise that my existence has no value or importance. "What if I die today in sleep?" I ask to myself. When after that I sleep I never expect to wake up the next morning, I dream of my funeral. Whenever I go to bed I expect, my ego never wakes up again, my anger, my dreams, my useless qualities, my negative side and myself,  all dies before the next sunrise.
What if I'm dead?                                                                                                                                    My corpse will be a burden on the earth.
-_-P