a dying wish

the greatest fear i have in life is loosing the one i love the most...being ignored and left out alone without any word of saying goodbye's

i have this feeling that i wanted to die...many times i want to end my life ...i loose hope and every moment i am not with the person i love most ...i feel empty inside....my heart feels broken whenever he leaves me...wondering when will he come back and where will he go

this feeling of mine is the worst feeling i have ever had...the only escape i tried is to lie to my self that he loves me and he needs me..wondering my self that i will be given the chance to be happy with him

this is the true story of a person who love someone that in reality it will never be a happy ending ...the reason....the so called stereotyping....judgmental word....

a love of a man to another man....reality sucks.....i know the fact that loving same sex is hurtful  it is not accepted a taboo...but what if this love is the true meaning of love ...a love that conquers all.....i know he loves me but because of the dogma of taboo....he tend to control himself to love me.....i also cannot purely show our love toward each other  because of the fact that we will be judge persecuted and ashamed by our peer and love ones(friends, family) .

but at the end of the story even if  may not be a happy one....still the best of it is we love each other ...in the midst of the judgmental world and prejudicial society...

i love you Danilo even i sacrifice my life for your own happiness

this is my story...my last will and testament..my dying wish and a farewell letter

to those people who judge me .... i hope and pray that what ever i feel today would not happen to you

those people who understand me..thanks for the support

to my family specially my mom...thanks for accepting me for who i am

to the one i dear most ...Danilo....thanks for the love...you always tell me you love me and i know its true you showed me the meaning of love and thanks for all the memory we shared...the bitterness...the sadness...the fighting we have...the happy moments we cherries ...remember this...i do this for our freedom....for you to be happy....please do not forget me ...i will leave you now ...but i hope in my passing you will be free..you will be happy and you will continue living without me