A Thousand I love You's

She put the ring on the table and stared at it. What a beautiful thing, too. She loved wearing it and loved what it stands for. The promise it stands for... Their future together. She admired it for a while, looking at how shiny it is. And she asked herself why did she even accept it when she knew that she cannot trust him again. Not now and probably never. What hurts most is being torn between wanting to let go and wanting to just forget everything so they could go back to how it was before. She missed that bit... Loving him and trusting that she'd be the only one. But she also wants to go back, too to how it was before she met him, maybe she could have met someone better. Maybe, she'd be happier too. Now, she wonders if everything he said was ever true. They've written 1437 I love you's over the years they've been together and apart. How true were those? Maybe hers for sure and there were times when she doubted that he would stay but now tht she found out the truth, she just wanted to know if some of these 1437 I love you's were ever true. She wanted to know how many times did he get tired of her and what she did on those times that pushed him to find comfort from someone else. She wanted to forgive him, too and she did but she still feels stupid about it and thinks he's still gonna do it again or he is still doing the same thing. She doesn't want to ask him anymore or remind him of what he did, but her hate still sips through and she doesn't want to keep doing that. She's tired. She gives him a chance but her "yes" weighs heavily on her heart. She finally thinks how long will it take or how much more can she forgive before just letting it all go.