Every day, I remind myself to try and get through another 24-hours of surviving yet another day of avoiding eyes, sitting in corners and trying to fit in... trying to blend in a such cramp space.
Socializing is never a strong point. My characteristics contradicts so much to what I actually want that everyday is a struggle. The introvert inside me prefers to take small spaces, occupy the sit by the window and see everything from the back of the room yet the little voice of human nature grows by the tick of the clock.
Writing about this feelings makes my chest hurt. If only I had my best foot out there since day one, everything would be better, a lot better than this.
If I have someone with me, a friend maybe.... If that one girl from class one stayed and never left, this process should have been lot tolerable.
I regret a lot and every day, I regret the fact that I might end up all alone in this one. I pray each night though... hoping for a miracle.
They say, He works in the most mysterious ways. If so, I would gladly wait until I find the ends of this yet another hurdle.
I'll get there, hopefully but tonight... just like another night, I'll fill my head with fantasies and what nots, just to calm my heart and pump in motivation. Motivation to carry on, alone.