AMMU..... is the nickname of the girl I loved. Ammu used to be a different girl from the rest of the others that I had seen. She had a great sense of humor than the others.
I used to watch her from my childhood and I was completely in love with her. I even didn't talk to her much but I was so delighted whenever I see her.
Since childhood I was fond of her but don't know why...? I used to go to the school by a bicycle and she also had one and for me the route in which we travel is also the same.
Our school is just a 2 kilometer distance from my house and just a 1/2 kilometer distance from her house. But anyway daily I should cross her street to reach my school. I used to go in a specific time thinking that she would also step out at the same time so that I could see her but my bad luck was like that it never happened.
She is a brilliant girl, beautiful girl and also the topper in our class and certainly all the boys had concentration on her and all the girls had ego on her.. Well don't know about the girls part exactly but just thought as if it is said anywhere that though they smile between themselves internally they had an ego that is more powerful than anything in the world.
So, as the days are going my fate has been like that I had to change my school and I fought with my parents that I want to be in that school not for the purpose of my study or anything but the sole reason was that I wanted to see her... and the reason I was afraid to change the school was also that if I had changed the school I would miss the opportunity to see her, to see her eyes, her smile and everything.
I didn't want that any shit to happen but as that is my school age and my parents had more power than me I was shifted. So, as in the movies no wonder happened saying that the girl also joined in my school, but I had some time to see her and later that too vanished and used to think about her just in my dreams...
But now-a-days when I think of all this I'm wondered that at the school age it'self I'm not ready to give her up and how can now...? Maybe it's the situation that you should adjust or the life that will teach you how to adjust.
Saying this I was not gonna say that I didn't see her again. I just had a long gap again to meet her and to talk to her. These many days of thoughts about her just didn't hold anymore.After a few years I had that chance and how can I let it go away...?
So, thought I would directly go to her and express all my feelings about her to her immediately but when I reached her my mouth had been silent as it had no words to speak and it's just the eyes that did the thing.
Didn't knew if she had noticed it or not but as she has joined in a coaching institution I had time to see her. Daily I would go with many thoughts in my mind as to "How to talk to her?", "How should I behave in front of her", "How should I express her?".
As these thoughts are running over my mind I would then notice that the girl was also running away and I would stand in front of her as if I'm dumb and not even utter a single word.
Don't know how she felt for me but whenever I see her I used to think in many ways of how to talk and even in the gap of running to her I would rehearsal the entire speech and whenever i reach her it was a total disaster. Only she would speak as I'm one of her classmates...
I don't know what happened to me but whenever I see her I was out of words and maybe it's the mesmerizing voice that I always wanted to hear desperately that make me feel that I'm out of words...
But still I think I had plenty of time to work it out with her and first of all may be I should be in a position to give her hope that I could show her the sunlight every morning with a cup of coffee on her bedside..... :-)