An Incomplete Cinderella Story

We live in this modern, dynamic world... Do fairy tale stories exist?

As the clock hit 12 on New Year's Eve, I told my heart that maybe I wasn't meant for love at all. I was sick and tired of all the boring coffee dates and meaningless conversations. No one wanted what I wanted and I am very good at figuring that out within a short conversation!

Just as I was about to delete my dating profile, I saw that a guy with the most charming smile I had seen in my life. My instinct told me to give this guy a chance before I delete my profile. I never knew that one instinct of mine would lead to my cinderella story!

He responded to my message and we started talking. Conversations were short but it still made me laugh and smile. We decided to meet up for coffee during my next trip to London. I was so nervous that I spent three days deciding what to wear!! That was so unlike me...

I knew why I was overcome with nervousness. I have a very strong shell which people never cross through. Within a few days of talking, he called my crap on my face and I realised my defences don't work on him. It freaked me out because that is my biggest strength. Without that, I was emotionally bare and vulnerable. Only twice had anyone passed my defences and both of them left me shattered and broken hearted.

I got to London all excited to meet up. Unfortunately, he cancelled because he fell sick. I wanted to tell him how upset I was..but I let it be... We thought maybe we could meet the next day or manage something in between. Next day I called and texted him all day and I had no response from him. I was so worried that maybe something was terribly wrong with his health. I stood at London Euston hoping that he takes my call before I board the train and I leave in peace. 

5 minutes before my train departed, I get a message "Good morning". I wanted to yell at someone so loud!! Who the hell sleeps for 24 hours!! That when he told me that his friends took him partying last night and they got back at 7 am. I felt so bad... He didn't meet me because he was sick but went partying all night! We fought a lot over messages. 

Being an insecure person, I interpreted this scenario that he didn't meet me because he didn't want to. Maybe I wasn't good enough... I cried all the way to my hometown. I sulked for days... 

Somehow we overcame the fight. We started talking again and he promised me he would come meet me over the weekend. It all turned out to be empty promises... Every week he would promise and then cancel. We fought a lot... Both of us said things we shouldn't have. But surprisingly, these fights were bringing us closer...

However, with time I felt neglected... I realised I am just another girl from his dating pool. With a lot of help from my best friend, I decided to stop talking to him. I did not want forced attention. 

Weeks went by and then my next London trip was planned. I was travelling on official work. After a lot of deliberation on whether I should tell him I am in London, I sent a short message. It was a risk. He would reply if he wanted to else he wouldn't! I didn't have anything to loose. 

My heart skipped a beat when I saw his reply!! He wanted to meet!! We planned to meet after work. I wore my favourite red dress. My nerves were going crazy... I didn't know what to expect... Will he like me? Will he hate me? Will all this be just another disappointment? 

 When I saw him come towards me, my heart rate was hitting the roof! We hugged and he complimented me on my dress.. Thank God for no street lights! My face was as red as my dress...

We sat in the living room of his falt amongst music, people dancing, partying and somehow managed to blur out everyone else. It felt like we had our own little bubble. His friends invited me to go clubbing but I refused as I wanted to get home quicker... We decided to walk back home... That would give us some time to talk in peace... That day I understood the magic of romance in the lanes of London at midnight...

We sat by the Thames...From his body language I knew he wanted to kiss me but was nervous and so was I... We started walking again and soon he pulled me towards him and we kissed. I felt fireworks in my body... We had such a chemistry that I was panicking again... We walked hand-in-hand along the river and that's when he told me that he is heading back to US in less than 2 weeks!

I tried convincing him to keep himself free the next day so that we get some more time together. He was adamant that he can't. After a long time, I prayed that night...

The next day I sent him messages, angry smileys, voice notes, trying to convince him to cancel his other plans. It didnt work. I just felt so sad that I decided to leave for home. I left him a message saying I'm taking the 8:30 pm train to home.

While waiting at the platform 8 at Euston, I got a text from him, "Did you get onto the train????" 

I literally froze on the spot. It was 8:28, 2 minutes to my departure. Call it a sign from the universe, at that instant it was announced that my train is 10 minutes late... Phew!!

I tried calling him and he didnt pick up. At 8:33, he asks "Did you leave? I'm trying to get back to London tonight itself"

It was 8:35 and due to past experience I wasn't sure of his trying... I texted him, "Trying isnt good enough for me. I can't stand in this platform all night!"

I'm guessing that's when he realized that I was actually leaving. I asked him one last time if I should leave. He replied, "I dont want you to..."

That touched me so hard... I had to make a choice... I started tearing up and got out of the train 1 minute before departure! On my journey back to my colleagues place, I was wonder struck. I didn't know what to think. I have never behaved like this for anyone...

I knew both of us are into each other. I knew this will hurt when he leaves for US. I belonged here in England and he in the US.. I knew all the negatives but I also knew that if I didnt give myself this one night of happiness, I would regret it all my life. We decided to meet by the same bridge we said goodbye the previous night. 

When we saw each other, I ran and hugged him so tight!! We walked hand-in-hand, much more emotionally connected than the previous night...later, went clubbing with his friends...the journey back to his apartment was almost an hour long. I slept off on his shoulder... All of us got home, I borrowed his T shirt for the night... 

I woke up next morning and I saw him peacefully sleeping on the next bed. I wanted to rush over and cuddle up... but was afraid that I might wake him up...That's when reality hit me. My midnight had come. I felt like cinderella. 

The magic that I was living for last 2 days had come to an end. The best 2 days of my life had come to an end. What was I thinking? That somehow he would change his mind about our relationship? That he would fall for me? I was no princess and this definitely was not a fairy tale.

I went over to his bed, sat by his side and gently stroked his hair...I didn't want to wake him up but I didn't want to stay away either. He woke up in about 5 minutes. We cuddled for almost an hour...It felt so good... Snuggling under him made me feel safe, secure and protected. I knew I have fallen in love with this man... I wanted time to stand still!

We had to get up and get going as we both had work... He took me out for breakfast together... I told him about how I felt like cinderella and that my midnight had come. He was adamant that its not like that and this isn't the end. 

We walked to the bus stop and I wanted to tell him how much he means to me. I just couldn't.... I'm pretty sure my eyes said it all... I hugged him and didn't want to let go...

As my bus came, he said, "Here comes your chariot". 

I told him that this is no longer a chariot, just a pumpkin... My cinderalla story has struck midnight and unfortunately i can't do anything about it!

Standing at London Euston that night, I prayed I get another text to stay back and not leave. I just wanted one sign that this isnt the end to my story...When I reached home, the reality hit me hard. We weren't going to be together ever again. 

I decided to have faith and wait for the next 2 weeks till he leaves for US. Maybe... maybe something could happen.... maybe we could meet... just maybe...

I believe in magic and miracles. But sometimes you needs someone to reinforce it. He did that. He made me believe that miracles do happen. Those 2 days in London were my miracle. As we said bye, he told me to believe that there is more to our story and this isnt the end. My experience and instincts told me that's never going to happen. I will just be a dandelion in a meadow of roses. He will find prettier, sexier girls wherever he goes and soon forget that I existed...

This is my incomplete cinderella story... Midnight has struck, my carriage has turned into a pumpkin, I am no longer a princess and I have no chance at all of getting my prince charming........