An open letter for my first ex lover

Dearest Nathan,

I know it's been a year since we ended our relationship. I decided to write this open letter to you because I felt deep within my heart that I have to. As I look back on the day that we've decided to separate ways I couldn't help but wonder why I never stayed by your side, I know that it has been a hard decision for you, to let go of me and me letting you go as well. I want to say sorry for I wasn't able to keep my promises to you before we separate ways, I told you before that I will forever be by your side no matter what happen that I will always support you. I'm sorry for leaving you face those difficult times of your life alone. Sorry for not agreeing to keep in touch with you that time, I just can't see you leaving.. It's hard for me to let you go, it is painfuly hard. I know that even if you try to hide your feelings to me I Know in my heart that you are mad at me for not keeping my promises which is to be with you through diffcult times.

When I heard the news about you not leaving for spain, I was shocked and I thought that maybe a second chance could happen for the both of us.
The day I saw you for a proper closure, I know in my heart that I still love you and that Love will never fade. You are my first love you are my cheerleader when I am down, you made me believe in my self that I could be a dean's lister, you lift me up in times of disappointments in life. You were there all along with me. You had been my support system when I feel like I am weak for everything, you encouraged me to not settle for less that I should aim for the best. When I asked you if you still love me and if you were open for a second chance I was praying that you'll say YES. But the time you said "NO, i don't love you anymore" that was the most painful words that I have ever heard in my whole life, you don't know how Painful it is for me. I know it's too late now to say all of this and it will never change anything. I know you are happy now with some other girl..I hope she makes you smile, laugh and makes you feel loved. I pray that in our next life everything will be perfecf for us. I know you don't pray for me anymore but it's ok you don't have to. You are and will always be included in my prayers, your safety is the most important thing for me now. Life may gets hard there in Manila but just remember that you are doing all of that for your loving family. I have loved you for your positive outlook in life and that attitude of you will help you reach your biggest dreams. Nathan, you are a great, diligent, passionate and dedicated person. From the very start I knew that you can be whoever you wanted to be. You deserve to be happy, you deserve to live a successful life, you deserve to find someone who will love every bit of you. You deserve happiness.

I have no idea if this open letter will reach you but maybe when that time comes I am already taken with someone I love or maybe just maybe I am still living my life alone. Nathan, know that while typing this letter all I am thinking is you. By this time you are still my first love and my baby. I love you and I miss you. Untill we meet again. Be happy.

Love,
Iya