I'm in a bar. Sitting on a stool, my soon-to-be-empty glass of Whiskey in my right hand, I'm silently watching. The place is packed. The majority of people here are groups of friends. You can see right now and then one or two guys that are endlessly moving around. They are of no particular allegiance but their own: the wannabe "Pick-up Artists".
"Poor guys." I say to the girl is sitting next to me. She's surprised. Silent for a second, and with a very careful frame, she asks " Who?"
"Those two guys over there, with their flashy accoutrement and demeanor. They look like kids who first get into the pick-up community... The How to seduce women based communities all across the world, if you will."
Her eyes open wider, exposing the full Iris to the ambient lights. My God what gorgeous eyes! She turned from acting like a little child shyly approaching a puppy to a bright face saying «Oh! This sounds interesting. Go on, you got my attention."
" Really? They have that?" She asks me.
We talk for a while about that, then about various other subjects. We're laughing regularly and just don't sense time passing us by. Man, that's what I call a great conversation! Forty-five minutes have passed, and those two guys are still at it. They must have approached every single girl in the place by now. Kate - that's her name- notices them too.
"How come they are still not set up by now if they study Pick-up?" She asks.
"Well you see, the thing is that..." Hmm...How do I say this? «The guys that teach and create Pick-up theories haven't really nailed it yet. Let's put it this way: if you want to study something such as Seduction, you need to study two different items. The first one is understanding the logic and reasons behind attraction, and the psychology of women. The second part is to elaborate strategies to apply all this theory. Pick-up Artists have amazingly covered the first part, using evolutionary psychology, sociology and such... But they miserably failed when it came to applying that knowledge. I'm saying they're the guys who wanted to fly and jumped off cliffs to their death. When really, they should have been the guys who wanted to fly, saw that jumping off cliffs was useless, and started developing planes. Their strategies are flawed."
«Well well... look at you all serious!" She teases me. God, I love that! She continues «Okay. So you told me that you had gotten a little deep into it yourself, but that you managed to see the light and get out of it. Then why don't you go ahead and help them? You're like their upper-classmate."
Shit, that could be fun! I make her bet that she'll have to buy me a bite, and it's game on. She accompanies me over to the two kids and I start talking to them. «Hi, my name is Dave. I know you're probably wondering why a weird guy is approaching you right now, but please bear with me." They look at me silently. I resume «I noticed you guys earlier and I think you're into pick-up, aren't you?"
Once again, their face shifts and they start talking. «Yeah, man! You're into that too? Well, you got yourself a nice target there, hehe..."
Target? Really? Oh well. " Yeah, can I ask you guys a question? How many approaches did you do tonight? Oh, twelve? That's impressive! But tell, me how did that go? You got two numbers? Well I guess that's alright."
I spend the next fifteen minutes explaining to them how their memorized gambits, stories and lines are actually robbing them from their charm. I argue that as humans, we are social creatures. Almost everything we do is exclusively for other's approval. We dress, talk, act, smell, look like whatever we think will make the others acknowledge us. It's one of our instincts, we can't control it. So, in Pick-up, you're in a completely wrong mindset. You should be thinking to yourself «Ah I feel like I want to engage with that person, whoever that may be. If she doesn't want to talk, it's alright. She has got her own life. On contrast, if we start talking, then I am going to make sure that whatever happens, both of us will have fun. I am going to play with her and push her limits a little by little. Wherever those limits stop stretching, I'm stopping at that level. She may be my type, she may not be. We may part and never meet again, or stay friends, or share a relationship. Whatever happens, I'm making sure that whenever we are around each other, WE ARE HAVING FUN."
I guess I went a little over-board. I recognize the look in their eyes. It's the one I had when I was young and some older person showed up and started to drop huge amounts of their so-called wisdom. We chat for a few minutes then part ways. I'm famished. Kate and I are on our way to her place for some frozen lasagna. As I'm leaving, I watch them resuming their predatory hobby. Well, what can you do? I guess they'll continue crippling themselves, constantly analyzing every word and movement, assuming seduction is a performance test and blaming themselves when fail.
How much can a man's psyche stays intact when he trades life for a giant Rubik's Cube, when he attaches his self-worth to something he will never be able to control?