B'coz they are Groom Side!

So, all the girls reading my article. I hope you may be at the age between 22 to 28. I know you will be hearing all the cheesy questions and teasings from your society, friends, colleagues and of course from family bcoz you are still single and not getting married.So, I thought of sharing my experience too!

Recently I too got a proposal.Okay as it's arranged marriage get ready for all the twist and turns. Even I was prepared for the interview rounds!

Round 1 - Family Visit

Your dad, mom will be running all over your house. Will be cleaning as it's like the Groom side is going to buy your house and not for seeing the girl. Buying all those pieces of stuff from bakery and restaurants. Well in India it's called "Adithi Devo Bhava". 

Not over. Get ready for applying all those putties on your face and kajal on your eyes. Our parents will be saying the first impression is the last impression. Unfortunately, on those days we should hear what our parents are saying. Apply that make-ups, wear that heavy dress which your parents select for you and sit like a dumb when the groom party arrives. 

Talk politely, smile often and never initiate a talk to them.In fact, we will be like a real dumb if we are in tension too!

When the groom's family leave our house, you can see all those tensed faces of our parents and relatives. Why? Bcoz they are waiting for the results. As a girl, your role of supporting your family will be starting here.You need to always convey your parents with positive thoughts and give them hope. They will sit with the mobile phone expecting a call from groom side.Finally, you will get a call stating you have passed the First round of Interview and now you are going for Second Round that is- Meeting the Groom

Round 2- Meeting The Groom

Okay girls. So I was qualified for the second round. Again you can see your family will be running for making all the arrangements. You need to wear that heavy dress and makeup again ( I''m not so fond of make-ups and literally used nothing on my face). 

The clock will be ticking ticking. You can hear your heart beat also. Finally, the groom arrived! Get ready to sit on hot seat again! He may smile at you, smile back. Obviously, he will start the conversation. He may shower you with some questions which he is interested of. Answer it. Please don't think that he will be asking more questions about us, to know us. No! He will be asking only what he wants to know. Okay as an Indian girl, you should never ask any question in return!

The groom also left. Now what? This is the time you will be cursing yourself for being a girl. You can see the worried faces of your parents, their tensions till they get a call from them. Keep calm girls and support your family this time too.

Well, I passed the Second round too!

Days of Investigations

This is the important, yet drastic period of all arranged marriages. Please be aware of all hide and seek games. There will be many eyes watching you on the road, at the office, on social media everywhere. The boy will be investigating on your Facebook account. Well, we girls also check their facebook account.Our family will also enquire about him. One side, you can see our family will be calculating, worrying and planning for all those Dowry Stufss. Yes, this is the another moment which we curse ourselves for being a Girl!

You can expect an unexpected call from groom's home. They will be saying okay your daughter has uploaded many pictures on social media which is not a good sign for our culture. Get ready to hear all those scoldings, as if we have uploaded some nude pictures! Obviously, all will be treating us like that. Now you can witness your parents begging and saying sorry to them. How can a groom understand the pain of a parent with an unmarried daughter? These are some situations now you can bend your head down and live like we have done something very sin!

Direct Meeting with the Groom Again

In my case, I got a lifeline to make this marriage work out. I hope you will also get some lifelines like this. And we met again, This time not at home, outside.

He: (Smiling) So, I saw many photos on your facebook. I'm a person who is not that much support to girls who uploads photos on Facebook.

Me: Deleted all photos when your parents called. In my mind( Yes I deleted all my college pics which gave me good memories, yes I deleted all my online articles which gave me many readers and followers, Yes I deleted everything because I'm a DAUGHTER who never let my parent's head down)

He: Well Okay, I don't have any objection to using Facebook

Thank God. Okay, so he is not that strict. I smiled back

Be prepared that he will be talking only about the topic which he is interested of and never ask anything about you. You can sit and answer all his questions for about 45 minutes. I wish, why can't he ask about my job? Why can't he ask about my hobbies? Why can't he ask about my dream? Okay, at least why not about a married life?

Well, this time I talked about my hobbies, about a job, though he didn't ask for!

So you dance? He asked with curiosity

Yes, at times. I replied. I understood he didn't like that too

I wished to tell him that, I read, I write but it doesn't mean I'm a tom boy or rough and tough girl. I too have a family, I too have good relations with them, and I know how to look after your family and you and how to adjust.I wished to tell him that I talk more often, but it doesn't mean that im a naughty girl.

No, I didn't utter a word. I kept silent and listened to his talk. 

And Then

May be according to Indian Culture, a girl who talks a lot is not a wifey material. May be a girl who smiles often is not good. May be a girl who is smart will be rejected!

So, my lifeline also got over. My parents are again waiting for a call from them. This time with an answer YOU ARE REJECTED!

Be ready to console your crying mom, a heart patient- Grandpa, and a worried dad. As a daughter, this is the first time I saw my parents worrying because of me. Now you can live your rest of the life with the guilt feeling. 

I'm wondering did the groom's side ever know what's happening at a girl's house.Did that boy ever understand the pain of a parent? Did that boy ever understand the effort each parent take for all the arrangements? Never bcoz, they are Groom Side!