To Her Almost Laura,
I know that you're confuse. I know that you have too many questions. I know that you are hurting. I know that your pain is excruciating.
I am not the one to judge you. I do not know you, let alone your story too. I know that you are doing the things thaf you think would make you happy. But I hope you realized that what you are doing is already a way of disrespecting your soul and your body.
I am not mad at you. I was once like you. I know the feeling of being left behind. I know the feeling of always wanting to be good enough. But that doesn't mean that you have to use your body to sell yourself. Look at your reflection in the mirror and think. This world is full of sharks. This world is dirty and unkind. Don't let the pressure take you to your grave. Love yourself and they will love you too. Respect yourself and the world will respect you.
You are no longer getting any younger. People are spreading dirty rumors about you. Don't let them ruin your future, I am begging you. Don't let them take away your pride. Don't do it. You deserve so much better in life.
I know that you hurt me. Intentional or unintentional, I forgave you still. You are just confuse. You are lost. I am not upset with you. I am not upset of what you did to me. That happened already. I no longer have the power to change it. I was able to get back what was mine. What is mine actually. I know that you tried so hard to snatch her from me and I feel sorry that I didn't allow you to succeed. I am not selfish Laura. I just know my terms. I know that she deserves better than you and you deserve someone way better than her too.
You will never be able to tame her. I am not saying that you cannot love her because I am sure you can. What I'm saying is that you are not yet ripe enough to handle her pain. She is a beautiful headache. She is a beautiful pain in my ass everyday but I am living this hell of a ride for her. You'll find someone that would fit yours too. Just stay calm.The best is yet to come.
So Laura, I wish you all the best. I wish you happiness. I wish you find your heart in someone's pocket who is willing to keep it until your hair turns grey and your skin crumble and you lay to your deathbed.
I love you. Thank you for making me kind.
Always,
-Indecisive