Blue

As I look back, I realise that I've been always like this. Empty, dull, sad were always the word that described Emily. But things have started to change now. Everything is moving in slow motion. And suddenly I've stop responding. To everything. Even time. Changes inside me are frequent and scary. Why do I feel the need of darkness? In dark, I'm not sad. I can not see myself, nor how dirty I'm. It brings me something anything else can't; peace. Peace, the word gives me shivers. It's a long lost desire of mine. I've started fearing myself. What a wicked soul I am. I bet Hitler would have been impressed. My family have too started noticing the changes, they took me to the doctor that day. I didn't speak a word the whole time and duh, they termed it as something I can't even pronounce. They think it's working. The treatment I mean, the daily visits to the psychiatrist. He asks me all kinds of question. I answer them, not honestly, but I do. Oh, and they've termed it to something more simpler and common; depression. Mom tells me to not be sad and it'll all go away. It's like feeding a tree everyday and not expecting it to grow. I often find myself lost and shifted to a sad and lonely place. And when reality hits me I find myself at a loss of words.
But I'm good now. I've a feeling everything will soon be over. No more being a weirdo. No more being empty. No more being the lost Emily. No more being blue. As I feel the air blowing fast against my face, the howls of people, the concrete floor nearing, I feel free. Freedom at last.