Bone-tired, Soul-weary

Do you ever feel like starting from scratch? Going to a place where no one knows you? New job, new identity, new people to meet. No past, no expectations, nothing to hold you back?

I really want a fresh start.  For once I want to be that girl who embraces her demons and be honest with herself coz she's fucking tired of the weight she's carrying.

Not everyone gets a restart in life, but one can get as close as starting over by stripping yourself from the sources of the stress that you're sufferring. Distancing yourself from those people that's bringing you down. It may sound callous and selfish but that's the truth and I can't lie to myself any longer.

I want to be free from this pretentious good girl who always does the right thing. This girl ain't good at all, she has her demons that she's keeping at bay every waking day. She has her dark wants and bitter wishful thinkings, the horrors she hopes you can never think of lingers at the corners in her head. She has evil in her wanting, waiting to get away. The same evil that will face those judgements with blank stares. She will hear the righteous opinions of her friends and relatives and she wouldn't flinch because she anticipated the disappointments and she was ready for it. She is free from pretending to those people who would never understand. She is free and she is happy. And someday that will be me.

That girl sleeps in me. That same darkness waits. Biding its time to finally have the courage to welcome her monsters and be the very person every hypocrites easily judges. Be that person who cared very little of the opinions of people who never understood and cared more for herself. Then she won't be bone-tired or Soul-weary. She'll then be happy.